On September 20th 2012, Mr Peter V. Handal, Chairman and CEO of Dale Carnegie Training flew in from the United States of America to present Jack Petchey CBE with the prestigious Dale Carnegie Leadership Award.
The Leadership Award recognises organisations or individuals who have truly demonstrated that the development of their organisation has been achieved through a commitment to the development of people.
In his first years of business Jack Petchey, now aged 87, picked up a copy of the infamous book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. It was a moment that changed his life! He promptly signed up for a Dale Carnegie Course and that decision was one that undoubtedly contributed to him becoming one of London’s most successful entrepreneurs.
Jack’s entrepreneurial ventures have spanned travel, property and investments. He founded companies, such as Petchey Holdings Plc and Petchey Leisure, turning them into multi-million pound empires. But he is perhaps best known by many for his commitment to supporting youth projects, predominantly across his home turf of London and Essex. In the last 12 years he has sought to inspire a generation through The Jack Petchey Foundation, a charitable trust that has invested well over £75 million into raising young people’s aspirations, rewarding their achievements and encouraging them to achieve more in life.
From humble beginnings, Jack was born in 1925 to poor working class parents in Plaistow, East London. Despite leaving school at the age of 14 with no qualifications, he had already begun to demonstrate the entrepreneurial skills that would aid his later success. Following his discharge from the Fleet Air Arm in 1947 he invested his whole life savings (nearly £60) in a car to found a car hire business.
His exposure to Dale Carnegie Training gave him the self-belief and skills to build his business and to go on to found many more!
All his life he has carried a commitment to the basic principles of management learnt through Dale Carnegie. His belief in reward as a powerful motivator for change has been implemented in his staff reward schemes and now been developed even further through the Jack Petchey Award Scheme, operating in over 2000 youth clubs and schools across London and Essex. Another saying from Dale Carnegie was “Don’t criticise, condemn or complain” and to this day Jack carries a small cardboard disc in his pocket as a permanent reminder! His aim has always been to encourage staff to give their best.
Now, with a focus on the work of the Foundation, his heart’s desire is to enable young people to access the ‘power’ of positive thinking, to believe in themselves, to learn how to capture their dreams and turn them into reality by setting goals, learning new skills and sheer dogged determination! With this in mind he is currently exploring some new training programmes to be delivered to young people through schools.
It is only the second time that this Award has been approved and awarded by the Board of Directors of Dale Carnegie Training to a businessman in London, “and there is none more deserving than Jack!” says Clive Thompson, of Dale Carnegie, London.
The Dale Carnegie Leadership Award, established in 1985, was given to The Ford Motor Company that same year and in subsequent years to such well known organisations as Coca-Cola, Adidas, Boeing, Four Seasons Hotel, Daimler-Chrysler and SAS Scandinavian Airlines.
Jack Petchey joins a long chain of the world’s greatest businessmen and through his Foundation it is hoped his legacy will be to continue to inspire a generation. Jack said: “I feel really proud to accept this award, Dale Carnegie was such an inspiration for me; I just hope that future generations of young people will be able to see that they can achieve – if they really believe they can, they can!”
Showing posts with label How to Win Friends and Influence People. Show all posts
Showing posts with label How to Win Friends and Influence People. Show all posts
Friday, 21 September 2012
Friday, 18 May 2012
Top Tips For Communicating In The Digital Age
Mark Fitzmaurice of Dale Carnegie, shares his top tips for communicating on social media platforms, in the Bdaily Business Network.
There’s no doubt that technology and social media has transformed the way we communicate, both in a work and home environment. For all the advantages however, there are various pitfalls that have the potential to damage your reputation and do you and your business more harm than good.
To mark its 100-year anniversary, learning and development organisation Dale Carnegie has updated and re-released its classic ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’, originally written in the 1930’s, to identify with the scenarios facing businesspeople in an age of increasing technology.
Many of the key principles Dale Carnegie set out all those years ago still apply today and have been adapted to suit the modern age. They include:
1. Take your criticism offline. Little good comes from public humiliation, whether it’s by Tweet or blog post. The rise of anonymous message boards and online comments seems to incubate negativity, but engaging in that kind of back-and-forth does little good.
2. Commit to self-improvement instead. Instead of telling other people what they could do better, save the harshest criticism for yourself.
3. Focus on other people’s interests, not your own. This might be a hard one to follow but social media users must resist the temptation to talk about themselves. Instead, ask about others, comment and inquire about their own updates, and focus on what interests them, not you.
4. Engage with others. Social media, after all, is all about interaction, and people use those platforms with the hope of hearing directly from their favourite author, celebrity, or company. Companies like Zappos take advantage of this fact and use social media to build their brands.
5. Smile. Recent research that analysed Facebook profiles found that people who frown in photos tend to be on the outskirts of social networks instead of in the centre of them. In other words, smiling gets you more friends (and influence).
6. Spread positivity. On that same note, if you can make other people smile, you’ll also grow your own popularity. Tweeting positive thoughts is far more effective than tweeting negative ones. In fact, skip negative Tweets and posts altogether.
7. Don’t argue. Has anyone ever won a back-and-forth over Twitter? Or by leaving snarky comments on an online article? Even if the answer is “yes”, the potential damage to your reputation by such an exchange makes public arguments bad ideas.
8. Engage and be responsive. One of the best way to build your network either personally or in business is to engage with others and be responsive to other people’s needs.
9. Be a good listener. Even on line, listen to what people are saying, look for the message behind the message, sometimes people will say things on line that they won’t say out loud, we just need to listen in a different way
10. Make other people feel valued and important. In any that you can, on line or off line if you make people feel valued and important they will be loyal to you and give you much more in return
For more information on how Dale Carnegie can help you in the digital age, contact us, or purcahse the How To Win Friends and Influence People In The Digital Age which is available in all good retailers.
Stephanie Fletcher
To continue reading this article visit
http://bdaily.co.uk/news/technology/10-05-2012/1336492916-top-tips-for-communicating-in-the-digital-age/
There’s no doubt that technology and social media has transformed the way we communicate, both in a work and home environment. For all the advantages however, there are various pitfalls that have the potential to damage your reputation and do you and your business more harm than good.
To mark its 100-year anniversary, learning and development organisation Dale Carnegie has updated and re-released its classic ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’, originally written in the 1930’s, to identify with the scenarios facing businesspeople in an age of increasing technology.
Many of the key principles Dale Carnegie set out all those years ago still apply today and have been adapted to suit the modern age. They include:
1. Take your criticism offline. Little good comes from public humiliation, whether it’s by Tweet or blog post. The rise of anonymous message boards and online comments seems to incubate negativity, but engaging in that kind of back-and-forth does little good.
2. Commit to self-improvement instead. Instead of telling other people what they could do better, save the harshest criticism for yourself.
3. Focus on other people’s interests, not your own. This might be a hard one to follow but social media users must resist the temptation to talk about themselves. Instead, ask about others, comment and inquire about their own updates, and focus on what interests them, not you.
4. Engage with others. Social media, after all, is all about interaction, and people use those platforms with the hope of hearing directly from their favourite author, celebrity, or company. Companies like Zappos take advantage of this fact and use social media to build their brands.
5. Smile. Recent research that analysed Facebook profiles found that people who frown in photos tend to be on the outskirts of social networks instead of in the centre of them. In other words, smiling gets you more friends (and influence).
6. Spread positivity. On that same note, if you can make other people smile, you’ll also grow your own popularity. Tweeting positive thoughts is far more effective than tweeting negative ones. In fact, skip negative Tweets and posts altogether.
7. Don’t argue. Has anyone ever won a back-and-forth over Twitter? Or by leaving snarky comments on an online article? Even if the answer is “yes”, the potential damage to your reputation by such an exchange makes public arguments bad ideas.
8. Engage and be responsive. One of the best way to build your network either personally or in business is to engage with others and be responsive to other people’s needs.
9. Be a good listener. Even on line, listen to what people are saying, look for the message behind the message, sometimes people will say things on line that they won’t say out loud, we just need to listen in a different way
10. Make other people feel valued and important. In any that you can, on line or off line if you make people feel valued and important they will be loyal to you and give you much more in return
For more information on how Dale Carnegie can help you in the digital age, contact us, or purcahse the How To Win Friends and Influence People In The Digital Age which is available in all good retailers.
Stephanie Fletcher
To continue reading this article visit
http://bdaily.co.uk/news/technology/10-05-2012/1336492916-top-tips-for-communicating-in-the-digital-age/
Friday, 27 April 2012
How to Win Clients and Influence Referrals
(MoneyWatch) What's the difference between a customer and a client? A customer might be there for a transaction, but a client is there for a special relationship. The term dates back to ancient Rome when citizens would attach themselves to an aristocratic patron for protection and clout. Patrons took care of their clients and they were rewarded for it.
This column is for all of you out there who make your living selling to clients and want to attract more of them. To attract new clients, the best approach is to prove your expertise by giving away valuable information through writing and speaking. Actually, that isn't technically true. You should sell the information if you want to win clients and influence referrals. Here's how.
1. Follow Dale's lead. Unfortunately, many sales and marketing people who learn this truth find the idea of writing and speaking too daunting and even mysterious. Most feel this is only for a select few, but that is a miscalculated view. First comes the problem, then comes research, and finally presentation. Dale Carnegie is the role model to emulate. He wrote the original self-improvement book and was the first superstar of the self-help genre.
2. Do your homework. Carnegie wrote that he had searched for years to discover a practical, working handbook on human relations. He started by reading every scholarly book and magazine article he could find to ascertain how the great men and women of all ages had dealt with people. Then he interviewed scores of successful people to discover the techniques they used in human relations.
3. Speak up. From all that material, he prepared a short talk. He called it "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and it soon became a 90-minute lecture. Then the teacher learned from the students. Carnegie asked attendees to share their stories of how the principles helped them. First, he put the rules down on a postcard, which grew into a leaflet, then a series of booklets, each one expanding in size and scope. After 15 years of experiment and research came the book by the same title in 1937 as that original short talk. Of course, it has been a best seller ever since (if you haven't read it, you really should). The first edition had a print run of a mere 5,000, but the last time I checked it had sold more than 15 million copies.
4. Be the expert. During those 15 years of research, Dale Carnegie became the go-to guy for human relations. Thousands attended his training each year and he prospered. This also resulted in many consulting contracts. He is long gone, but his training company has continued to this day.
5. Make them pay. Those who sell high end services can fill a pipeline with qualified prospects in as little as 30 days by offering advice to prospects on how to overcome their most pressing problems. But don't do it for free. Charge for your seminars and the information will be valued more by your potential clients. The burden is also on you to research great information.
This strategy also helps those people who know, like and trust you enough to refer business to you. You can make these people a special deal: if they know someone who would value what you have to say, then your referral source can offer comp admission to your events on a space-available basis. Look what this does. You make the referral source feel special because they can hook people up. The prospects who attend still value the information more because there is a charge for it, and they feel even better because they didn't have to pay.
Happy Selling
Stephanie Fletcher
This article was written by Tom Searcy, and you can read more at http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505183_162-57415800-10391735/how-to-win-clients-and-influence-referrals/
Monday, 9 April 2012
In the last two weeks the London office has had a lovely visit from Stephen Holgate who is a Dale Carnegie Master Trainer and currently residing in New York.Steve, or Stevo to his friends, is such an inspiring person that I thought I would write about him for this blog post.
Originally from Brisbane, Australia, Steve headed to London when he was a mere 24 years old after graduating University with a Bachelor of Business, majoring in marketing. Having read the book How to Win Friends and Influence People he approached our office for a job. His easy going attitude and unbound enthusiasm along with an available opening, immediately secured him a sales consultant role with us.
From there he headed on to be not only a great sales person forming fantastic relationships with his clients, but also started his path to become a Dale Carnegie Trainer. Once he started training our flagship programme, The Dale Carnegie Course, his sales took off even more.
He was with our London office for 4 years and became a trainer for many of our programmes when he decided to return to Australia to be with his girlfriend and to work within the Sydney office of Dale Carnegie. Again he was successful in building up a business which at that time wasn’t well established in the area and travelled to Asia and other parts of the world delivering many of the Dale Carnegie programmes. At this point (2007) he became a Master Trainer, which may I say is no mean feat, especially for someone so young. You have to be the best and have excellent trainer results to even be considered for this role, and then undertake rigorous training.
Eventually the lure of travel was too much and Steve fulfilled another one of his ambitions which was to work and live in New York. And this is where he currently lives, two years on, enjoying his life there, taking improv classes and generally living his dream. He is the chap in our Smartphone apps as well as being a personal coach for CEO’s.
So when Stevo came back to the UK last week for business and tagged on some additional time to see his friends and pop back to the office where it all began, I decided to ask him what the key was to his success. Because Steve is one of the most likeable, motivated, friendly and passionate people I know. He has goals which he achieves, dreams he aspires to achieve and does all this living the life he desires.
Steve:
I actually feel the need to define "success" as what success means to me. For me, success is about being able to be happy with your life, and have a positive impact on the world ("the world" might include people, the environment, and/or ethical organisations). I know I've got the happiness thing, and would like to hope that I have had some form of positive impact on others.
So then the question is how have I done that?
* Work out what you want to be doing (how you can be happy)
* Set long term, medium term, and short term goals to achieve that
* Persist; understand that it won't happen instantly, and that you'll have many set backs and that they are all part of the process, not the end
* Take time out for reflection; replicate what you're doing well, change what you're not
* Create happiness for others; then others will help create it for you
Thanks Steve for those tips.....and may I say how lovely it was to see you again.
Helen
Friday, 16 March 2012
Create change and see what happens
With The Apprentice returning to our screens next week it’s timely that I should discuss an entrepreneur in this blog post. One who had an idea for a product and who followed it through with grit, determination, initiative, passion and trying something different. Here’s some things I learned which I wanted to share.....Sara Blakely came up with an idea of creating underwear which makes you look thinner and solves the VPL which so many women try to avoid. Spanx was born. And now at the age of 41 she is a self made billionaire (1 billion USD, £638 million). I have no idea whether she was in it for the money or if she wanted to create something she was passionate about, but however you measure her success, she is in no doubt successful. So just how did she do it?
Her past jobs certainly helped her. She worked at Disney as a meeter-and-greeter which no doubt gave her a background in Customer Service (as Disney are renowned for excellent customer service). She then worked as a door-to-door salesperson and was used to hearing ‘No’s’ and having knockbacks.....no doubt with the odd door slammed in her face. She also was a stand up comic in her spare time which meant she had no problems presenting to crowds, some of whom I can imagine could be a tad difficult.
She was passionate about her product and invested her life savings to make it happen. And in order to get her product noticed she really had to fall back on to her previous sales role.
Sara also had initiative and in her 10 min slot with a potential buyer she took her to the ladies to show her a before and after demonstration of her product rather than spend the whole precious ten minutes explaining to the buyer why she should stock her product. There certainly wasn’t a confidence issue there. But her big break came six months after that meeting whereby she sent a sample to Oprah Winfrey who was so impressed with her product that she added it to her Favourite Things Show. What better free advertising/PR can you get than an endorsement from a world renowned celebrity on a show which is seen on a global scale? Needless to say Sara never looked back after that.
As a result of her success, she set up the Sara Blakely Foundation to help women through education and entrepreneurial training which also funds scholarships in South Africa, as well as donating $1 million to Oprah Winfrey’s Leadership Academy.....therefore giving back to the community.
Some of us will have an idea which we want to pursue and some of us won’t. Some of us will have most of the tools we need to pursue that goal and some of us won’t. If you would like to know how to present to groups, or build up your confidence, then by all means drop us a line. We are friendly, helpful and above all, really listen to what you require. And we would love to help you achieve your dreams.
I will leave you with a quote from Sara Blakely which I think sums up her success:
‘Now I give speeches and I always ask: If no one showed you how to do your job, how would you be doing it? Take a moment and ask that question. Often your way is better. Maybe it’s a fresh new approach. If you are doing something the way that everyone is doing it, you are not really creating change by doing it that way.’
Helen
Friday, 10 February 2012
Communication is Fabio-less
120 days and 7 hours before Euro 2012 kicks off England manager Fabio Capello decided to leave his post with immediate effect.
Despite often being referred to as a poisoned chalice due to the intense pressure to succeed as well as the media spotlight following you at every turn, it seems however these were not the reasons behind his sudden departure.
A breakdown in communication with key figures within the FA appears to be the straw that broke the camels back. It is amazing to think that there can be such a major lack of communication in the higher echelons of the English governing body of football.
I work for a company that helps improve the performance of companies by improving the performances of its people.
There are five key drivers that lie at the heart of everything that we do and one of those is enhancing and strengthening communication skills.
If you would like to find out more about this or the other four key drivers as well as the solutions we offer to individuals, teams and companies please feel free to attend any of our free course previews and seminars.
Amar Garcha
P.S. Keeping the importance of good communication at the front of my mind, I would like to thank Brett for the title of this post.
Despite often being referred to as a poisoned chalice due to the intense pressure to succeed as well as the media spotlight following you at every turn, it seems however these were not the reasons behind his sudden departure.
A breakdown in communication with key figures within the FA appears to be the straw that broke the camels back. It is amazing to think that there can be such a major lack of communication in the higher echelons of the English governing body of football.
I work for a company that helps improve the performance of companies by improving the performances of its people.
There are five key drivers that lie at the heart of everything that we do and one of those is enhancing and strengthening communication skills.
If you would like to find out more about this or the other four key drivers as well as the solutions we offer to individuals, teams and companies please feel free to attend any of our free course previews and seminars.
Amar Garcha
P.S. Keeping the importance of good communication at the front of my mind, I would like to thank Brett for the title of this post.
Friday, 3 February 2012
Love is .....????
Friday was a bit of a milestone for a group of new candidates to become Dale Carnegie Trainers. It was the first event where they were directly exposed to the demands placed upon those that we grant the right to support people who wish to change their lives in our programmes and seminars.
There are 10 core competences in which they must excel and, when running through these, the PowerPoint slide is designed in such a way that the 10th, and more important, competency is at the centre of a circle; at the heart of all the others. This 10th competency is human relations.
For those of you that have read How to Win Friends and Influence People it will apparent that the degree of shift in behaviour needed to be consistent in the application of the thirty principles, is significant for most of us. The overriding message of all these principles is to treat other people as you would wish to be treated yourself. Any debate or discussion following this topic to its natural end is; that to become such a person requires total selflessness. We have to be totally committed to the growth and development of another.
If another's' behaviour is going to shift permanently then their soul must shift too. Without this shift of the soul, being or spirit, the behaviour shift becomes contrived by each human interaction; by thinking and acting on 'Ah, which principle will I use on him or her'.
With all the reading I do on this subject and especially when reflecting on what Dale Carnegie himself says about who we should be for others, then love is appropriately defined as 'being committed to the spiritual development of another'.
Thus to be a superb Dale Carnegie Trainer one must love, not in a romantic sense of course as that is ultimately self serving, through being totally selfless and focussed on others.
Now isn't that how you would like to be treated?
David Pickering
Monday, 9 January 2012
One Off Event On A One Off Day
Everyone says it….. “2012 is going to be my year” just like 2011, 2010 and 2009 was their year too. However 2012 really is Dale Carnegie’s year, as we celebrate our 100th Anniversary. We have a range of new seminars and white papers for example, which will be on offer throughout the year, with our first one off seminar, be held on a one off day.
The How To Win Friends And Influence People in the Digital Age, will be held on the one day women can propose to men…..Wednesday 29th February 2012. Mr. Carnegie left a legacy of Human Relations Principles that helps us open our minds to the need for and desire to change. He also developed a system of processes and approaches that make change seem easier to implement for our participants, and these principles are very much valid today, as they were 100 years ago.
The digital age is changing how we work, play, communicate and think. It is an exciting frontier that rewards those who leverage the power that it presents. Competing in the new environment will require higher levels of competence. While it may seem challenging to keep up with the pace of technology the good news is that it is evolving so quickly that it’s easier to learn and use than ever before.
This one off workshop will teach you to realize your personal best, achieve work-life balance, lead effectively, strengthen relationships, enhance communication skills, and most importantly the attitudes of success, necessary to move to new levels of effectiveness in the digital age.
For more information on how this free, 2 hour, one off seminar on a one off day, can help you to juggle the demands of the digital age, visit www.londondalecarnegie.com/events, or call on 0207 379 4323
Stephanie Fletcher
The How To Win Friends And Influence People in the Digital Age, will be held on the one day women can propose to men…..Wednesday 29th February 2012. Mr. Carnegie left a legacy of Human Relations Principles that helps us open our minds to the need for and desire to change. He also developed a system of processes and approaches that make change seem easier to implement for our participants, and these principles are very much valid today, as they were 100 years ago.
The digital age is changing how we work, play, communicate and think. It is an exciting frontier that rewards those who leverage the power that it presents. Competing in the new environment will require higher levels of competence. While it may seem challenging to keep up with the pace of technology the good news is that it is evolving so quickly that it’s easier to learn and use than ever before.
This one off workshop will teach you to realize your personal best, achieve work-life balance, lead effectively, strengthen relationships, enhance communication skills, and most importantly the attitudes of success, necessary to move to new levels of effectiveness in the digital age.
For more information on how this free, 2 hour, one off seminar on a one off day, can help you to juggle the demands of the digital age, visit www.londondalecarnegie.com/events, or call on 0207 379 4323
Stephanie Fletcher
Friday, 9 December 2011
When Push comes to Shove
Due to the fact that I now work in Central London, I have been forced to become one of many commuters using London’s tube system and endure the dreaded rush hour. The myth of being one of hundreds of sardines trapped in an elongated tin can has now become a reality for me and it’s safe to say I’ve experienced far more comfortable journeys in my short time on this earth. I have discovered there is a great irony with all passengers who use the tube. Unless you are travelling in a group, we completely isolate ourselves from one another. We do not make eye contact, share a smile and conversation is mainly restricted to, ‘have you finished with the Metro.’ In spite of this however, no matter how much we refrain from any form of social interaction, everybody at some level is thinking one collective thought.‘I hope I get a seat.’
There’s no need to be ashamed of this. I’m certainly not. I see nothing wrong with not wanting my journey to work at 7am to consist of being elbowed in the ribs by someone trying to turn the page of the latest bestseller or tripping over somebody’s luggage fresh off the plane at Heathrow. My dilemma comes not from wanting a seat, but from what potentially could happen if you’re fortunate enough to obtain one. Aside from the sense of victory you feel, you have now unknowingly placed yourself in the position of being a human moral compass. How so I hear you cry? An example would probably be most fitting.
Its 7.15am. I’ve been on the tube for ten minutes and the train is just pulling up to South Ealing. The very little patience I have in my grouchy and tired state is being tested to the limit by a man who, despite being sandwiched between me and the door, still feels this is the perfect time to read a broadsheet newspaper even with his head at an unnatural forty five degree angle. I was about five seconds away from offering my own, somewhat unsubtle opinion on when is the best time to catch up on world events when suddenly I spotted a gentleman in a seat folding up his newspaper. He places it behind his head by the window and grabs, but does not pick up his bag. This is a clear indication that the man is preparing to vacate the chair and I begin my approach. Slowly, so as not to arouse suspicion, I stalk my way across towards where he’s seated, using the tried and tested, ‘I need to see the tube map to work out how many stops I have left’ method as justification for my movement. We arrive at South Ealing and as I anticipated, the man arises from this chair and proceeds towards the doors. Quick as a flash, I swan dive towards the now vacated seat and in one swift movement grab the paper he left behind, open it to the sports section and plant my derriere in the chair, making sure not to knock the recently purchased Kindle out of the hands of the person next to me.
Triumphant, I sat on my new found throne adorned with an out of date seat pattern and worn in piece of chewing gum, safe in the knowledge that my journey would be one of relative comfort from here on in…or so I thought. No sooner had I selected an album to serenade me into central London, was a man tapping me on the head (and I literally mean my head, like he was telling off a dog) claiming angrily that I had stolen his seat. Unfortunately we weren’t underground yet so I couldn’t pretend that I was finding it hard to hear him and naturally everyone was listening. I must confess that my natural instinct in situations such as this would be to confront the gentleman, question his entitlement to the aforementioned seat and declare unashamedly that I would not be moving. I do not shy away from verbal confrontation as I can talk anyone into the ground; I might not even be right but I’ll still win through sheer perseverance. The stage was set for a showdown.
Suddenly, I remembered a key phrase from a book I was reading. The book had been given to me as I had recently started working for Dale Carnegie and it was titled, ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People.’ The phrase was simply, ‘The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.’ I sometimes have a problem processing books but I always find that certain sentences and ideas stick out and due to my argumentative nature, this sentence stuck out like the proverbial sore thumb. Realising that this was an ideal opportunity to try out such a technique I simply smiled at the man, stood up and ushered him into the seat offering my apologies. To my astonishment, he smiled back and offered his thanks. He then too apologised and went on to tell me that he had had the worst possible start to his day and even something as small as getting a seat on the tube had made him feel that much better. With a simple change of mentality I had gone from being a further nuisance to a man having a bad day, to being part of the solution to his downbeat morning.
You might be reading this and like me, find yourself in confrontation far too often and sometimes might even seek confrontation for the sake of it. I would encourage you to take onboard, as I did, the words that Dale Carnegie phrased so expertly. ‘The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.’ I’d like to think that ‘the best’ not only applies to what you get out of it, but like my example shows, could also be the best thing for the other person too.
Brett Mills
Monday, 21 November 2011
Obtaining willing commitment by understanding what influences others !
Human interaction is based on a entricate system of give and take. Quick example could be as simple as “I will do this for you even if I won’t get something in return right now, because you will ‘owe me one’ for future redemption.”
Robert B. Cialdini, a professor in psychology at Arizona State University, has been studying the importance of persuasion in influencing our social and workplace relationships.
From his research in this area, Cialdini has identified six widely used and usually successful principles of influence:
1. Reciprocation.
People are more willing to comply with requests (for favours, services, information, and concessions) from those who have provided such things first. Because people feel an obligation to reciprocate, Cialdini found that free samples in supermarkets, free home inspections by exterminating companies, and free gifts through the mail from marketers or fund raisers were all highly effective ways to increase compliance with a follow-up request.
For example, according to the American Disabled Veterans organization, mailing out a simple appeal for donations produces an 18% success rate. Enclosing a small gift, such as personalized address labels, nearly doubles the success rate to 35%. “Since you sent me some useful address labels, I’ll send you a small donation in return.”
2. Commitment and Consistency.
People are more willing to be moved in a particular direction if they see it as consistent with an existing or recently-made commitment. For instance, high pressure door-to-door sales companies are plagued by the tendency of some buyers to cancel the deal after the salesperson has left and the pressure to buy is no longer present.
When you visit a car dealer to purchase a new car, one of the first questions asked by the sales person is, “What kind of qualities are you looking for in a car?” They then proceed to direct you to models that have attributes that are consistent your needs in a car.
3. Authority.
People are more willing to follow the directions or recommendations of someone they view as an authority. Few people have enough self-assertiveness to question authority directly, especially when that authority holds direct power over an individual and is in a face-to-face confrontation or situation.
This is why children are especially vulnerable to adults (and especially trusted adults such teachers or camp counselors) — they are taught to view adults as authority figures, and will often do what they are told without question.
4. Social Validation.
People are more willing to take a recommended step if they see evidence that many others, especially similar others, are taking, buying or using it. Manufacturers make use of this principle by claiming that their product is the fastest growing or largest selling in the market.
Cialdini found that the strategy of increasing compliance by providing evidence of others who had already complied was the most widely used of the six principles he encountered.
Some people need to feel like they are a part of the “in crowd” by using or doing what everybody else is perceived as using or doing.
5. Scarcity.
People find objects and opportunities more attractive to the degree that they are scarce, rare, or dwindling in availability. Hence, newspaper ads are filled with warnings to potential customers regarding the folly of delay: “Last three days.” “Limited time offer.” “One week only sale.”
One particularly single-minded movie theatre owner who managed to load three separate appeals to the scarcity principle into just five words of advertising copy that read, “Exclusive, limited engagement, ends soon.”
6. Liking and Friendship.
People prefer to say yes to those they know and like. If you doubt that is the case, consider the remarkable success of the Tupperware Home Party Corporation, which arranges for customers to buy its products not from a stranger across a counter but from the neighbour, friend, or relative who has sponsored Tupperware party and who gets a percentage of its profits.
According to interviews done by Cialdini, many people attend the parties and purchase the products not out of a need for more containers that go pffft when you press on them, but out of a sense of liking or friendship toward the party sponsor.
A social network’s business value is in the sheer number of people who sign up to use it. And what better way to induce people to drive new users and traffic to their sites than to have friends recommend the site to their other friends?
Obviously, not every situation is open to direct persuasion or influence using one of these six factors. But being aware of these factors may help you better navigate a personal, family or work situation better in the future.
The renowned communication specialist Dale Carnegie once said, “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” People are far more willing to help you get your way with something if they view you as someone similar to them, are friendly and polite, and treat the other person as though you were asking a favour or task of yourself.
Therefore to quickly summarize this weeks blog . By understanding what motivates people to take action allows you gain the willing co-operation , so treat others like you would like to be treated by them and you will increase your ability to influence and motivate people to take action.
Mark de Stadler
Performance Consultant
Robert B. Cialdini, a professor in psychology at Arizona State University, has been studying the importance of persuasion in influencing our social and workplace relationships.
From his research in this area, Cialdini has identified six widely used and usually successful principles of influence:
1. Reciprocation.
People are more willing to comply with requests (for favours, services, information, and concessions) from those who have provided such things first. Because people feel an obligation to reciprocate, Cialdini found that free samples in supermarkets, free home inspections by exterminating companies, and free gifts through the mail from marketers or fund raisers were all highly effective ways to increase compliance with a follow-up request.
For example, according to the American Disabled Veterans organization, mailing out a simple appeal for donations produces an 18% success rate. Enclosing a small gift, such as personalized address labels, nearly doubles the success rate to 35%. “Since you sent me some useful address labels, I’ll send you a small donation in return.”
2. Commitment and Consistency.
People are more willing to be moved in a particular direction if they see it as consistent with an existing or recently-made commitment. For instance, high pressure door-to-door sales companies are plagued by the tendency of some buyers to cancel the deal after the salesperson has left and the pressure to buy is no longer present.
When you visit a car dealer to purchase a new car, one of the first questions asked by the sales person is, “What kind of qualities are you looking for in a car?” They then proceed to direct you to models that have attributes that are consistent your needs in a car.
3. Authority.
People are more willing to follow the directions or recommendations of someone they view as an authority. Few people have enough self-assertiveness to question authority directly, especially when that authority holds direct power over an individual and is in a face-to-face confrontation or situation.
This is why children are especially vulnerable to adults (and especially trusted adults such teachers or camp counselors) — they are taught to view adults as authority figures, and will often do what they are told without question.
4. Social Validation.
People are more willing to take a recommended step if they see evidence that many others, especially similar others, are taking, buying or using it. Manufacturers make use of this principle by claiming that their product is the fastest growing or largest selling in the market.
Cialdini found that the strategy of increasing compliance by providing evidence of others who had already complied was the most widely used of the six principles he encountered.
Some people need to feel like they are a part of the “in crowd” by using or doing what everybody else is perceived as using or doing.
5. Scarcity.
People find objects and opportunities more attractive to the degree that they are scarce, rare, or dwindling in availability. Hence, newspaper ads are filled with warnings to potential customers regarding the folly of delay: “Last three days.” “Limited time offer.” “One week only sale.”
One particularly single-minded movie theatre owner who managed to load three separate appeals to the scarcity principle into just five words of advertising copy that read, “Exclusive, limited engagement, ends soon.”
6. Liking and Friendship.
People prefer to say yes to those they know and like. If you doubt that is the case, consider the remarkable success of the Tupperware Home Party Corporation, which arranges for customers to buy its products not from a stranger across a counter but from the neighbour, friend, or relative who has sponsored Tupperware party and who gets a percentage of its profits.
According to interviews done by Cialdini, many people attend the parties and purchase the products not out of a need for more containers that go pffft when you press on them, but out of a sense of liking or friendship toward the party sponsor.
A social network’s business value is in the sheer number of people who sign up to use it. And what better way to induce people to drive new users and traffic to their sites than to have friends recommend the site to their other friends?
Obviously, not every situation is open to direct persuasion or influence using one of these six factors. But being aware of these factors may help you better navigate a personal, family or work situation better in the future.
The renowned communication specialist Dale Carnegie once said, “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” People are far more willing to help you get your way with something if they view you as someone similar to them, are friendly and polite, and treat the other person as though you were asking a favour or task of yourself.
Therefore to quickly summarize this weeks blog . By understanding what motivates people to take action allows you gain the willing co-operation , so treat others like you would like to be treated by them and you will increase your ability to influence and motivate people to take action.
Mark de Stadler
Performance Consultant
Friday, 20 May 2011
iphoney
People that know me will tell you that I am a massive football fan. So much so that some of my colleagues from Dale Carnegie have requested that I stop writing blogs about the sport or indeed my favourite team. So instead I want to talk to you about an incident that took place a couple of weeks ago and how it affected me.
A couple of weekends ago I received a letter with the logo of a famous mobile telephone provider on the cover. However, this was not my provider and upon opening it, to my horror, it was a welcome letter. Apparently, I had signed up for a two year deal with an iphone. I immediately went to one of their stores and explained the situation. I was told that I needed to contact customer services by phone.
At this point things began to look bleaker. I was explained that not only had I taken out the contract but the phone itself was delivered to my house and signed for. What?
Could it have been that I managed to do all of this subconsciously? I know there are many people that sleep walk and get up to all sorts of shenanigans. Could I have become a sleep shopper? The answer is no. I was just another victim of identify theft.
I went into work the next Monday feeling violated and so worried and stressed about what details of mine had been captured and used. I then spent the next couple of days talking to the provider to cancel the contract and also investigate why there was no verification or proof that I had made this purchase.
I sat down on my desk feeling defeated, just another victim of a major faceless corporation. It was at this point I found my salvation. It came to me in the shape of an experienced Dale Carnegie coach that lives and breathes the principles that our founder penned many years ago. He went through some fundamental principles for overcoming worry.
• What is the worst that could happen?
Well, the worst already has, I thought. The only thing worse would be if I now got a phone bill for this fraudulent account.
• Prepare to accept the worst.
Ok, I know I didn’t arrange this so I can make sure that I am not liable to pay a phoney bill should it arrive.
• Try to improve the worst.
After gathering up all the evidence I felt much better. I was now in a better position because now I not only knew I was an innocent victim but I could also prove it.
After talking to him and taking action I felt relieved and could concentrate on other more important things. The stress and worry seemed to evaporate.
If you would like to find out more about How to Stop Worrying and Start Living or How to Win Friends and Influence People then please join us on the Dale Carnegie Course which starts on Tuesday 28th June. If you would like to have a taster and experience a session for free prior to joining then please attend the complimentary session on Tuesday 14th June.
All the details can be found on our website - http://www.london.dalecarnegie.com/
Just before I let you go……I did get that phone bill last week. It amounted to £229.39 and yet I do not feel stressed at all.
A couple of weekends ago I received a letter with the logo of a famous mobile telephone provider on the cover. However, this was not my provider and upon opening it, to my horror, it was a welcome letter. Apparently, I had signed up for a two year deal with an iphone. I immediately went to one of their stores and explained the situation. I was told that I needed to contact customer services by phone.
At this point things began to look bleaker. I was explained that not only had I taken out the contract but the phone itself was delivered to my house and signed for. What?
Could it have been that I managed to do all of this subconsciously? I know there are many people that sleep walk and get up to all sorts of shenanigans. Could I have become a sleep shopper? The answer is no. I was just another victim of identify theft.
I went into work the next Monday feeling violated and so worried and stressed about what details of mine had been captured and used. I then spent the next couple of days talking to the provider to cancel the contract and also investigate why there was no verification or proof that I had made this purchase.I sat down on my desk feeling defeated, just another victim of a major faceless corporation. It was at this point I found my salvation. It came to me in the shape of an experienced Dale Carnegie coach that lives and breathes the principles that our founder penned many years ago. He went through some fundamental principles for overcoming worry.
• What is the worst that could happen?
Well, the worst already has, I thought. The only thing worse would be if I now got a phone bill for this fraudulent account.
• Prepare to accept the worst.
Ok, I know I didn’t arrange this so I can make sure that I am not liable to pay a phoney bill should it arrive.
• Try to improve the worst.
After gathering up all the evidence I felt much better. I was now in a better position because now I not only knew I was an innocent victim but I could also prove it.
After talking to him and taking action I felt relieved and could concentrate on other more important things. The stress and worry seemed to evaporate.
If you would like to find out more about How to Stop Worrying and Start Living or How to Win Friends and Influence People then please join us on the Dale Carnegie Course which starts on Tuesday 28th June. If you would like to have a taster and experience a session for free prior to joining then please attend the complimentary session on Tuesday 14th June.
All the details can be found on our website - http://www.london.dalecarnegie.com/
Just before I let you go……I did get that phone bill last week. It amounted to £229.39 and yet I do not feel stressed at all.
Amar Garcha
Sales Consultant
Friday, 18 March 2011
A helping hand
Tragedy struck Japan in the last week. A major earthquake and a resulting tsunami struck on March 11 2011 which caused destruction, death and suffering to thousands of people.
Images have been plastered all over televisions the world over and every newspaper in the world has been covering the catastrophe.
Living just under 6000 miles away I can still feel the impact. The unbelievable loss of human life has left a permanent mark on my mind. To say this puts things into perspective is a major understatement.
We spend most of our lives worrying about things which at the time feel more important to us than anything else in the world. I have to hold my hands up and say that I am more guilty than most. I spend too much of my time procrastinating and worry about the past instead of taking action.
I have always been drawn to success stories. I remember reading books and articles about people that have come from nothing and achieved amazing feats.
Many of us are in a privileged position, unlike those suffering in Japan or the millions of people that are born into poverty and struggle everyday of their lives.
I do agree with those who say we should help others whenever we can. That could be donating to charity or volunteering to help others when they are in need.
In addition I believe we need to help ourselves. Think about it, there are millions, nay, billions of people that would swap their life for yours. I have often seen more drive and determination from people living on the streets of Punjab than I have in some office blocks in London.
It is our responsibility to make use of our position. To educate our mind, change our behaviours, improve our skills. The more we do this the more likely we are to be able to make a difference in the lives of those who can not.
Dale Carnegie Training is running a free preview of our flagship programme, The Dale Carnegie Course: Skills for Success on the 23rd of March, you are more than welcome to attend. I will leave you with a quote from Mr Carnegie himself.
'When ill luck besets us, to ease the tension we have only to remember that happiness is relative. The next time you are tempted to grumble about what has happened to you, why not pause and be glad that it is no worse than it is?'
Images have been plastered all over televisions the world over and every newspaper in the world has been covering the catastrophe.
Living just under 6000 miles away I can still feel the impact. The unbelievable loss of human life has left a permanent mark on my mind. To say this puts things into perspective is a major understatement.
We spend most of our lives worrying about things which at the time feel more important to us than anything else in the world. I have to hold my hands up and say that I am more guilty than most. I spend too much of my time procrastinating and worry about the past instead of taking action.
I have always been drawn to success stories. I remember reading books and articles about people that have come from nothing and achieved amazing feats.
Many of us are in a privileged position, unlike those suffering in Japan or the millions of people that are born into poverty and struggle everyday of their lives.
I do agree with those who say we should help others whenever we can. That could be donating to charity or volunteering to help others when they are in need.
In addition I believe we need to help ourselves. Think about it, there are millions, nay, billions of people that would swap their life for yours. I have often seen more drive and determination from people living on the streets of Punjab than I have in some office blocks in London.
It is our responsibility to make use of our position. To educate our mind, change our behaviours, improve our skills. The more we do this the more likely we are to be able to make a difference in the lives of those who can not.
Dale Carnegie Training is running a free preview of our flagship programme, The Dale Carnegie Course: Skills for Success on the 23rd of March, you are more than welcome to attend. I will leave you with a quote from Mr Carnegie himself.
'When ill luck besets us, to ease the tension we have only to remember that happiness is relative. The next time you are tempted to grumble about what has happened to you, why not pause and be glad that it is no worse than it is?'
Amar Garcha
Sales Consultant
Friday, 29 October 2010
The Secret to Motivation
A question that we as trainers at Dale Carnegie are often asked is what is the secret to motivating oneself. Whether it’s the motivation to make some extra calls to get new clients; the motivation to start that difficult project; the motivation to have that difficult conversation with a member of staff or perhaps even the motivation to get out of bed in the morning and go to work.
So what is the secret? Based on my own experiences and those I’ve heard from clients over the years the question should actually be in the plural what are the secrets? ..... There are many ways to motivate yourself to action the trick is finding what works for you.
Our founder Dale Carnegie writes in the book ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ that ‘Enthusiasm’ is the secret of success and the key to motivating yourself. I’ve seen this work for many clients over the years as they’ve found a way to get excited about the task in hand. Focusing first on shifting our attitude towards a particular task before we start it can be the key. Like all techniques though it doesn’t work every time..... so what else can help us achieve what we don’t initially think is possible.
During a recent time management seminar we held a discussion on this topic of motivation and the question of tackling difficult or large tasks came up..... We were talking at the time about writing business plans and strategy. Everyone agreed that at some time or other they had been in the situation where they had to do a certain project and found themselves procrastinating as they didn’t even know where to start. Experiences discussed went all the way back to school and university days of writing essays. Through our conversation we came up with a few ideas of how to get started:
1.Breaking down the task into manageable pieces: This is a common technique but we added one refinement which was make your first task simply to decide how you’re going to tackle the project. By taking away the pressure of actually starting the task and just focusing on working out the ‘How’ we can often stop procrastinating and get started.
2. Make a small commitment: We discussed that it can make sense to set a time limit deciding that you’re going to work on a task for only one hour and no more can again help us to get started. Sometimes even taking this down to a ten minute commitment can be enough to get things moving. You might say ten minutes isn’t enough but give it a try and see how it impacts your attitude.
3. The burning platform: The idea is simple set the platform that you’re standing on alight and you’ll have to find the motivation to jump off it before it burns away. In business terms this can be committing to a colleague or perhaps a client that you’ll have something with them by a certain time. Our advice would be think carefully about this one before you try it but again it can really help you get moving.
If you haven’t tried these techniques before then give one a try today and see what difference it makes. If you’re looking to unlock your potential and are struggling to find the answer then come and join us this week at the preview of our flagship programme the Dale Carnegie Course in Effective Communications and Human Relations and find out how to motivate yourself to action.
Click here to book a place.
As always I hope you find the tips useful and hope you can join us for a training session soon.
So what is the secret? Based on my own experiences and those I’ve heard from clients over the years the question should actually be in the plural what are the secrets? ..... There are many ways to motivate yourself to action the trick is finding what works for you.
Our founder Dale Carnegie writes in the book ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ that ‘Enthusiasm’ is the secret of success and the key to motivating yourself. I’ve seen this work for many clients over the years as they’ve found a way to get excited about the task in hand. Focusing first on shifting our attitude towards a particular task before we start it can be the key. Like all techniques though it doesn’t work every time..... so what else can help us achieve what we don’t initially think is possible.
During a recent time management seminar we held a discussion on this topic of motivation and the question of tackling difficult or large tasks came up..... We were talking at the time about writing business plans and strategy. Everyone agreed that at some time or other they had been in the situation where they had to do a certain project and found themselves procrastinating as they didn’t even know where to start. Experiences discussed went all the way back to school and university days of writing essays. Through our conversation we came up with a few ideas of how to get started:
1.Breaking down the task into manageable pieces: This is a common technique but we added one refinement which was make your first task simply to decide how you’re going to tackle the project. By taking away the pressure of actually starting the task and just focusing on working out the ‘How’ we can often stop procrastinating and get started.
2. Make a small commitment: We discussed that it can make sense to set a time limit deciding that you’re going to work on a task for only one hour and no more can again help us to get started. Sometimes even taking this down to a ten minute commitment can be enough to get things moving. You might say ten minutes isn’t enough but give it a try and see how it impacts your attitude.
3. The burning platform: The idea is simple set the platform that you’re standing on alight and you’ll have to find the motivation to jump off it before it burns away. In business terms this can be committing to a colleague or perhaps a client that you’ll have something with them by a certain time. Our advice would be think carefully about this one before you try it but again it can really help you get moving.
If you haven’t tried these techniques before then give one a try today and see what difference it makes. If you’re looking to unlock your potential and are struggling to find the answer then come and join us this week at the preview of our flagship programme the Dale Carnegie Course in Effective Communications and Human Relations and find out how to motivate yourself to action.
Click here to book a place.
As always I hope you find the tips useful and hope you can join us for a training session soon.
David Anderson
Managing Director
Thursday, 5 August 2010
What's Your Name?
You might think what's in a name? It doesn't determine who you are or how you act, but for as long as people can remember, a person's name has been important to them. A recent article on the BBC website - 1066 and all those baby names - talked about how we still use names from the time when the Normans invaded; after the invasion many babies were named after William the Conqueror as the name was assosciated with success and this name is still popular today.
When someone hears their name spoken it makes them feel special and important, but many of us don't take the time to remember people's names or even to use people's proper names. Often we bump into people we have met before and then can't remember their name, not only is this embarrassing for us but it also makes the other person feel insignificant and unimportant. By not remembering somone's names we immediately alienate ourselves from that person. 
Dale Carnegie's third principle from the book 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' says -
Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
It's simple, people that remember people's names and use them are well liked and achieve more. A manager who has a team of over thirty and remembers the name of every member of his team will have earned the respect and attention of that team.
Here are some simple techniques that can help you to remember people's names -
- When you are introduced to someone, listen when they say their name and ask them to repeat it if you don't catch it the first time.
- When you first hear the name, repeat it several times in your head.
- Associate the name in your mind with the features, expression and appearance of that person.
When it comes to dealing with people, just by remembering and using their names you will be well on the way to building good relationships.
For more useful tips like this attend a complimentary preview of the Dale Carnegie Course on 17th August. Click here for more information
Sophie Whittall
Admin & Marketing Co-ordinator
www.London.Dalecarnegie.com
Tuesday, 24 March 2009
A Dogs Life!!
So I was sat in my living room, multi-tasking (watching a re-run of friends on the box and sending some tweets on Twitter to the world at large) when, SUDDENLY it dawned on me as I was checking out the plethora of “auto responses” from people claiming to be my “followers”!! Our generation is losing the human touch not because we have to but because the choice is made easy.
We have on-line chat rooms, e-learning, on-line shopping and on-line-check in, on-line dating and on-line takeaway booking and so on and so on. All of these great technologies could mean that we never ever have to leave the house or speak to a real person ever again, for some this is heaven on earth.
The people I often meet in the training room are driven individuals who want to overcome challenges and achieve more in life for themselves and their businesses. This is the same profile that would fit individuals who were taking Dale Carnegie Courses over 90 years ago. The fundamental challenges that we face with human beings and building relationships remain the same as they did back then, they are just contained within a different social setting and have a few more gadgets involved.
After training hundreds of people, there is one undeniable fact, when a group of people get together there is a great shared experience and connection that could not be replicated on-line. There is also a real buzz and energy created when people share challenges and solutions and overcome their fears.
So in conclusion, let’s celebrate technology for the freedom it gives us. Let’s also ask the question, “Do I sometimes use technology to avoid dealing with people?”...maybe in this instance we are actually restricting our freedom of expression.
There is a man in my life who always chooses people over technology and he has an amazing ability to “Win Friends and Influence People” effortlessly and with energy. If we could throw the same level of energy into meeting new people that he does then surely we could achieve anything. Please welcome Archie the dog!
Hayley Kennedy
Consultant
http://www.london.dalecarnegie.com/
We have on-line chat rooms, e-learning, on-line shopping and on-line-check in, on-line dating and on-line takeaway booking and so on and so on. All of these great technologies could mean that we never ever have to leave the house or speak to a real person ever again, for some this is heaven on earth.
The people I often meet in the training room are driven individuals who want to overcome challenges and achieve more in life for themselves and their businesses. This is the same profile that would fit individuals who were taking Dale Carnegie Courses over 90 years ago. The fundamental challenges that we face with human beings and building relationships remain the same as they did back then, they are just contained within a different social setting and have a few more gadgets involved.
After training hundreds of people, there is one undeniable fact, when a group of people get together there is a great shared experience and connection that could not be replicated on-line. There is also a real buzz and energy created when people share challenges and solutions and overcome their fears.
So in conclusion, let’s celebrate technology for the freedom it gives us. Let’s also ask the question, “Do I sometimes use technology to avoid dealing with people?”...maybe in this instance we are actually restricting our freedom of expression.
There is a man in my life who always chooses people over technology and he has an amazing ability to “Win Friends and Influence People” effortlessly and with energy. If we could throw the same level of energy into meeting new people that he does then surely we could achieve anything. Please welcome Archie the dog!
Hayley Kennedy
Consultant
http://www.london.dalecarnegie.com/
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