What about worry?

I’m a worrier.

I can’t help it. It seems that my natural reaction to having a bit of free time is to start worrying. I worry about my life, my future, other people and I even worry about the fact that I worry so much! I certainly don’t think I’m alone in this preoccupation of all things negative and what’s more I can prove it. Ask yourself the following question.

When you turn the light off at night and you’re lying in your bed, what do you think about?

Is it money? Is it the bills to pay at the end of the month? How do others perceive me? How’s the job going? What’s the update on that family member whose been struggling?

It’s funny how we hide our worry behind a smile. In the environments that often are the cause of our anxiety we let on that nothing is wrong and act as though we haven’t a care in the world. It’s only when there is nothing else to preoccupy our minds and no one else is around that worry truly takes over.

Worry negatively affects our state of mind, our health, our relationships and our performance. Overcoming it does not come around simply by the way we think; it takes discipline and structure. Here is what Dale Carnegie said on this issue.

"If you want to avoid worry… Live in "day-tight compartments." Don't stew about the future. Just live each day until bedtime."

If worry is something that you struggle with then I strongly urge you to do something about it. Don’t accept it as an inevitable burden you must carry for your life. Don’t let it plague your present, ruin your happiness and cloud your future. As an organisation, Dale Carnegie support individuals in overcoming worry and managing stress. It would be great to discuss with you how we can support you to.

Visit our website or call us on 0207 379 4323.

Brett Mills

iphoney

People that know me will tell you that I am a massive football fan. So much so that some of my colleagues from Dale Carnegie have requested that I stop writing blogs about the sport or indeed my favourite team. So instead I want to talk to you about an incident that took place a couple of weeks ago and how it affected me.

A couple of weekends ago I received a letter with the logo of a famous mobile telephone provider on the cover. However, this was not my provider and upon opening it, to my horror, it was a welcome letter. Apparently, I had signed up for a two year deal with an iphone. I immediately went to one of their stores and explained the situation. I was told that I needed to contact customer services by phone.

At this point things began to look bleaker. I was explained that not only had I taken out the contract but the phone itself was delivered to my house and signed for. What?

Could it have been that I managed to do all of this subconsciously? I know there are many people that sleep walk and get up to all sorts of shenanigans. Could I have become a sleep shopper? The answer is no. I was just another victim of identify theft.

I went into work the next Monday feeling violated and so worried and stressed about what details of mine had been captured and used. I then spent the next couple of days talking to the provider to cancel the contract and also investigate why there was no verification or proof that I had made this purchase.

I sat down on my desk feeling defeated, just another victim of a major faceless corporation. It was at this point I found my salvation. It came to me in the shape of an experienced Dale Carnegie coach that lives and breathes the principles that our founder penned many years ago. He went through some fundamental principles for overcoming worry.

• What is the worst that could happen?

Well, the worst already has, I thought. The only thing worse would be if I now got a phone bill for this fraudulent account.

• Prepare to accept the worst.

Ok, I know I didn’t arrange this so I can make sure that I am not liable to pay a phoney bill should it arrive.

• Try to improve the worst.

After gathering up all the evidence I felt much better. I was now in a better position because now I not only knew I was an innocent victim but I could also prove it.

After talking to him and taking action I felt relieved and could concentrate on other more important things. The stress and worry seemed to evaporate.

If you would like to find out more about How to Stop Worrying and Start Living or How to Win Friends and Influence People then please join us on the Dale Carnegie Course which starts on Tuesday 28th June. If you would like to have a taster and experience a session for free prior to joining then please attend the complimentary session on Tuesday 14th June.

All the details can be found on our website - http://www.london.dalecarnegie.com/

Just before I let you go……I did get that phone bill last week. It amounted to £229.39 and yet I do not feel stressed at all.

Amar Garcha
Sales Consultant

www.London.dalecarnegie.com

Handling Stress and Worry on the Big Stage

The 18th Fifa world cup, the biggest sporting event in the world, is now in full flight, the South African economy is enjoying an estimated boost of $2.85 Billion (US) thanks to healthy sponsorship and fresh stamps in the passports of some 330,000 football fans who will be curtailed by some 41000 police officers deployed specifically to deal with them.

Impressive stats to a spectator, but to a player they mean pressure, stress and worry. The media scrutinizes the every move of the players, so much could of, should have, would have.
Much is written about the players who find the pressure too much, having the physical ability to deliver but not the psychological ability to do so in the big game. The media is then so damming that it is a downward confidence spiral for the player, at the end of the day they are only human and doing their job.

Whilst researching for this blog I was looking at pressure and stress on sports professionals and who of the top performers embody the Dale Carnegie principles. Kelly Slater, the 9 times surfing world champion, who has had 22 years in the worlds top 44 and boasts a higher winning average than any other sportsman. He wins on average 76% of the time he enters in the water at the highest level of competition, the ASP world tour, where at age 38 he is currently ranked #1. To put this in perspective, the more well known winning machine, Tiger Woods, has a PGA record of 29.3% win rate which is the highest ever on the PGA.

Kelly Slater states the majority of his preparation is mental. Before a heat he prepares himself to win and what that will feel like for him, interestingly, he also prepares himself to loose, thinking what that will feel like, how he will react and how his opponent will react. He goes on to explain in his latest documentary ‘Letting Go’ that he only focuses on one heat at a time and if he focuses on the overall competition win, he gets stressed and increases his chances of bowing out in the early rounds.

What does this have to do with Dale Carnegie’s fundamental principles for overcoming worry?

1. Live in “day tight compartments” in this example each heat of competition is a compartment for Kelly, as is each game for the world cup favorites, who cant afford to be focusing energy on the final before they get there.
2. Ask yourself, A) “what is the worst that can possibly happen?” Kelly does this as his pre heat preparation every time, lets hope English goal keeper Robert Green used this principle before the USA match!
B) Prepare to accept the worst, again Kelly routinely does this.
C) Try to improve from the worst, it must work for the 9 time world champion, as 76% of the time he does!

Overcoming the worry and stress allows athletes like Kelly to perform at their very best – consistently. Whilst we cant all be elite athletes, we can apply these simple, yet extremely effective principles to any area of our life which is causing worry and stress.

Angus Firth

Performance Consultant
Dale Carnegie Training London

Oh no it's snowing again.......

Over the past couple of weeks we have had a lot of snow and the excitement we first experienced has started to wear off. The snow has caused no end of problems, whether it’s not being able to travel to work, being marooned in your home or losing control of your car on the ice. We have a love hate relationship with the snow, we love to play in it but it can also cause us a lot of stress and worry.

When it snows it snows and there is nothing you can do about it, so the trick is to overcome the worry it causes and just enjoy it:

• Live in “day-tight compartments” – don’t fret about whether it will snow tomorrow or not, just enjoy the day you are in. Deal with the snow tomorrow when and if it comes – you have no control over the weather.
• Ask yourself ‘What is the worst that can possibly happen?” – if your train is delayed by the snow don’t shout at the driver just accept it, the worst that can happen is that you will be late and a lot of other people will probably be in the same boat.
  
• Cooperate with the inevitable – The weather forecasters have predicted snow, so don’t moan about it but prepare yourself for it. Wrap up warm and get out your snow boots!

Remember that worrying and stressing about things too much can affect your health, think about how much anxiety the snow is really worth......I would say not much, it only comes around about once a year and just think that whatever it stops you doing one day you can always do the next. So next time it snows or something else happens that you begin to worry and stress about, just remember the principles above, overcome your worry and find something to be happy about, such as how beautiful the snow can look when it first falls!

Sophie Whittall
Markerting & Admin Co-ordinator

www.london.dalecarnegie.com

Release the Pressure

‘Leading the championships every race is exciting but there are pressures. This is the first time I can relax, go out there, do my thing and enjoy the race.’

These are the words of Jenson Button, 2009 grand prix world champion. After a summer of worrying and living with the stress of wanting the championship title so badly, he and his team mates can now start Sunday’s race knowing they have already achieved what they worked so hard for. The hard work has paid off and the pressure has been released. Jenson can now hit the track with a head free of stress and take pleasure in the sport he loves.

We all at some time or other get worried or stressed and often it is because we put pressure on ourselves as we don’t want to fail but want to succeed and achieve our goals. It is not healthy for us to always be worried or stressed, sometimes you just need to let go and clear your head. In the words of Dale Carnegie, ‘If you have worries, there is no better way to eliminate them than by walking them off. Just take them out for a walk. They may take wings and fly away!’

Here are some tips to help you dispel some of your stress and worry and enjoy whatever you are doing:

• If you want to avoid worry, do what Sir William Osler did: Live in “day-tight compartments.” Don’t stew about the future. Just live each day until bedtime.
• Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries. Ask yourself : “What are the odds against this thing happening at all.”
• Co-operate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself: “It is so; it cannot be otherwise.”
• Let’s fill our minds with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for “our life is what our thoughts make it.”
• Do the very best you can; and then put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.’

So next time you let the pressure get to you and you begin to feel stressed, refresh yourself with the tips above and let your worry go. Remember life is there to be enjoyed.

Sophie Whittall
www.london.dalecarnegie.com

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Welcome to the Dale Carnegie London Blog, we are very excited about our launch and can't wait to start sharing our views and advice with you. The whole team here in London will be contributing to the blog and we will hold monthly polls to find out what you want to hear about and what issues you are facing.

Right now we are getting fed up with the doom and gloom of the credit crunch and want to focus on our goals and see how we can thrive in current times, in the words of Dale Carnegie 'It's Time to Stop Worrying and Start Living'.......

Sophie Whittall

Marketing Co-ordinator

http://www.london.dalecarnegie.com/