Whats in a name?

'What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.'

Shakespeare wrote this. He is trying to tell us that our names do not matter and it is only what we do that’s important. It would be foolhardy to argue that our actions are not relevant but to imply that our name means nothing is in my opinion equally so. Let me tell you a story.

A young man travels to rural Africa. He spends three months teaching English in the harsh, poverty stricken area of Kezi, Zimbabwe. He builds up phenomenal relationships that cross the cultural divide and through his teaching, feels he has made a rare connection with the men and women he had the privilege of interacting with. It’s an experience he will never forget.

On his last day, he attends a dinner designed to bid him farewell. All of the people he has met and taught are in attendance. He spends time speaking to all of his students, who when he first arrived were unfamiliar faces but now were dear to his heart. Towards the end of the meal a young man approaches, someone he’s known for three months and who he could spot in a large crowd. The young man asks him something that changes his entire trip…for the worst.

‘Can you remember my name?’

He freezes. His face now a shade of crimson as he is gripped by the embarrassment he has bought upon himself. In his mind, he scrambles and claws for a name that doesn’t come, an excuse fails to present itself and even the most basic words cannot force their way out of his mouth. For what seems like an eternity all he can do is look into the eyes of a young man whom he thought he knew so well, and yet it is in that moment that it dawns on him that without this one simple piece of information, he barely knows him at all. He manages to say three words, three pitiful words, to which the young man walks away dejected.

‘No…I’m sorry’

Since then he has never underestimated the importance of knowing someone’s name. Thankfully for him, he has just started working for Dale Carnegie and is currently doing the ‘Dale Carnegie course.’ The first session made him more passionate in his belief that it is not enough to know people as ‘he’ or ‘she.’ He was provided with fantastic techniques for remembering names and by using those methods he was able to recite the names of all 19 people doing the programme with him.

He walked away encouraged and with a smile on his face, knowing that 19 more people no longer knew him as ‘he.’ They knew him as Brett Mills.


Brett Mills