Leaders don't Bully

‘The Secret to being a great leader isn’t to bully or harrass your underlings – it’s to be a sensitive listener.’ (David Derbyshire – Daily Mail – 15th September 2010)

The above quote is from an article published in the Daily Mail this week which talks about two pyschologists research into 85 self-help books and biographies. Their findings show that most leaders secrets of success are ‘touchy feely’* and that the leaders themselves are ‘positive and inspirational.’* Doctor Peters one of the Psychologists who carried out the study says that their findings from the research go against the belief that ‘the best leaders were driven individuals with domineering personalities’* She said ‘Actually, it’s someone who is always looking to their followers and who is concerned about their relationship with them.’

Dale Carnegie is one such leader who’s principles and ideas agree with this research and have been used for nearly a hundred years. When it comes to listening he has unearthed that there are 5 levels – Ignore, pretend, selectively, attentively, empathetically. Here are some of Dale Carnegie’s principles for being a leader –

- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticising others.
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
-Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

So the key to being a good leader is not to dominate but to build and sustain good relationships with your team. Leaders who dictate will eventually lose their position as leader.

If you would like to learn more about becoming a successful leader then why not join us at a preview of our Leadership Training for Managers Programme on 23rd September. Click here for more details.

To read the full article in the Daily Mail - Click here

* David Derbyshire – Daily Mail – 15th September 2010

Sophie Whittall
Marketing & Admin Co-ordinator

www.London.dalecarnegie.com

Essential Looks

There I was, thirty minutes before the show and the choreographer said: 'Models, lets rehearse once or twice before the show!' I thought to myself 'Rehearse what? I wasn't told anything about this!'

I do modelling in my spare time and this event took place at a Hair Showcase in Manchester yesterday. Basically myself and a few other models were completely unaware of this choreography. The organisers just assumed we could pick up the steps just like that, and also the delay in getting there due to the M6 closure didn't help.

I was feeling quite nervous and in a way frustrated that I wasn't told about this sooner so I could have practiced. Then I thought of the Dale Carnegie principles:

• What's the worst that can happen? -I can forget the steps and the audience will know it.
  
• Prepare to accept the worst - This happens to a lot of models and they still got offered work.
  
• Try to improve on the worst -Because there wasn't any more time to practice I got a piece of paper, sketched the choreography and ran though it in my head a few times until I was confident I knew what I was doing.

This situation is often found in business, the boss changes the strategy and you have to drive the business in the opposite direction, the client suddenly demands additional details to be added to the project at the last minute or a colleague asks you to do a presentation for them in the afternoon.

So when you find yourself in a challenging situation...Do the best you can!

Or you can come along to the Dale Carnegie Course and learn to think on your feet, handle and adapt to rapid change, control your attitude and be confident in any situation! Click here for more details

Corina Balaneanu
Sales Consultant

www.London.dalecarnegie.com

Why do we have two masks?

At the end of 2004 I met the person who changed my entire life and was my Coach for 9 months, his name is Juan Luis and he was the Worldwide HR Director in a multinational company in the automobile industry. He managed more than 39.000 employees around the world, travelling on more than 152 flights a year in the company private Jet, Juan Luis was living in hotels in triplex rooms and he had his own chauffeur.

Juan Luis is a physically normal person, but the expressions on his face and the feelings that are thrown along his body every second make the difference. When he greets you, greetings are done with his whole body and he is physically with you. He is not just shaking hands, he is telling you “I am here with you because I really appreciate you and I want to stay with you”.

In the book “Blink” it explains that our subconcious mind can evaluate situations and characters much faster than our rational mind. I really believe that when I met Juan Luis I knew he was to have a crucial influence on my professional life from the first moment I met him.

And my question is, Why? Why has a so “singular” a person had all the success in life that he wished to have without giving across the image of a weirdo?

Before answering this question, have you met those people who you cannot find out what they are like after 24 hours of living with them? I refer to those people who are changing all the time, not clearly-defined people because they behave in completely different ways depending on the situation they are in, such as personal, professional, social, lifetime,... Of course, it is important to know how to adapt yourself to each situation, but it is different when we talk about changing your individuality; your personality.

Therefore, Juan Luis has success, because he knew how to sell his individuality. Why do we try to change and try to look like others, when being ourselves 100%, is the best way forward. Why did your company hire you and not another person? Why did your partner choose you? Because we offered something different, as Dale Carnegie said in principle number 9: “Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely” with all your body.

For this reason I tell you, Be yourself! Feel proud of who you are! Give away all your energy and you will definitely find the success you wish for.

Because there is just one way to prompt others to action and make a difference; by being a “human being” with your good and bad traits, by being a person who has something different to offer; people pay extra money for the different ones.

Jose Bort
Sales Consultant

www.London.dalecarnegie.com