Release the Pressure

‘Leading the championships every race is exciting but there are pressures. This is the first time I can relax, go out there, do my thing and enjoy the race.’

These are the words of Jenson Button, 2009 grand prix world champion. After a summer of worrying and living with the stress of wanting the championship title so badly, he and his team mates can now start Sunday’s race knowing they have already achieved what they worked so hard for. The hard work has paid off and the pressure has been released. Jenson can now hit the track with a head free of stress and take pleasure in the sport he loves.

We all at some time or other get worried or stressed and often it is because we put pressure on ourselves as we don’t want to fail but want to succeed and achieve our goals. It is not healthy for us to always be worried or stressed, sometimes you just need to let go and clear your head. In the words of Dale Carnegie, ‘If you have worries, there is no better way to eliminate them than by walking them off. Just take them out for a walk. They may take wings and fly away!’

Here are some tips to help you dispel some of your stress and worry and enjoy whatever you are doing:

• If you want to avoid worry, do what Sir William Osler did: Live in “day-tight compartments.” Don’t stew about the future. Just live each day until bedtime.
• Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries. Ask yourself : “What are the odds against this thing happening at all.”
• Co-operate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself: “It is so; it cannot be otherwise.”
• Let’s fill our minds with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for “our life is what our thoughts make it.”
• Do the very best you can; and then put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.’

So next time you let the pressure get to you and you begin to feel stressed, refresh yourself with the tips above and let your worry go. Remember life is there to be enjoyed.

Sophie Whittall
www.london.dalecarnegie.com

Building Relationships

Billie, our local Big Issue Seller is a bit of a star around these parts.....mainly down to her 'nothing is going to get me down' attitude, even when life chucks her some lemons.

I think the world of Billie. She makes me smile from yards away as I hear her shouting out in the morning, trying to entice another person to buy a Big Issue. I find her hugely inspiring. She has been through such a tough time in life, and I am sure has seen things we wouldn't want to see, but a few years ago she decided to change her attitude, stop being negative and appreciate just what she had...and that was her life. Thanks to the Big Issue she has been able to earn money to change her life.

Recently she proudly told me how she went to 10 Downing Street and had tea with the Prime Minister...yes, the Prime Minister! She had the fortune of sitting in Sir Winston's Churchill's chair, and at the desk where Margaret Thatcher worked. She pulled out her phone and showed me a snap of her with Gordon Brown - how many of us can say we met the man who is running our country (whether you like him or not)!

She is also a little bit famous.....she has had a few articles written about her in national papers, in Time Out Magazine and most recently The Guardian newspaper (link below). But why? Why write about Billie? I guess you can't fail to hear her as she shouts 'Good morning ladies, good morning gents' every day as people pass her by.......you can't fail to see her as she dances about, playing with her amazing dog, Solo (who by the way should be on Britain's Got Talent).....however, I think the reason she has been in so many articles, including this one, is that she is an inspirational, genuine person, who reminds us that in this day and age, showing care and compassion is not dead. She KNOWS how to build relationships with her customers.

So how can you do this? Here's some tips for success:

• Become genuinely interested in other people
• Smile
• Be a good listener
• Talk in terms of the other persons interests
• Remember their name
• Make the other person feel important - and do it with sincerity
• Ask questions
• Encourage others to talk about themselves

Billie does all this naturally!

I would love Billie to find a full-time job, maybe working with people who have been through tough times, as she is such a people person. And when that day happens, and I think it will, I will miss her on the corner by Pret a Manger, greeting everyone with a cheery smile, remembering their names or calling them by her own made up name (Milky for the milkman, Windy for the window cleaner, Ms Gym Box for the fitness lady).

I reckon we could all learn a lot from her..........

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/sep/18/big-issue-18-birthday

Helen Mills
Financial Controller
www.london.dalecarnegie.com

Victory

On August the 5th, 24 people from various industries: the Government, Utilities, Finance and Banking, Hospitality, and Entrepreneurs began their 12 week Dale Carnegie course and their journey with us looking to answer yes to these questions: 'I am inspired by who I am; I am fulfilled and content; I am fulfilled at my job; I am part of a culture change; I am showing my organisation who I am; I connect with people immediately and I am making my dreams a reality’.

A week away from graduating and continuing with their journeys (October 21st is the special day) one of our delegates today told us how about ½ way through the course he was worried as to how he would progress after the course had finished. Today he knows himself as someone who is prepared and is looking forward to the challenges ahead! He along with his 24 friends on the programme live the intentions and principles set out by Dale Carnegie, the man himself, which was how to be an effective human ‘being’, in today’s corporate world. The final words of Rudyard Kipling’s ‘If’ inspirational poem reflect aptly the results our delegates have demonstrated and what is infinitely possible by living an intentional and awakened life:

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Lizzie Thomas
Consultant

www.London.dalecarnegie.com

Nine Steps to Win-Win Conflict Resolution

Conflict is a natural part of business and of life. Problems arise in the ways that you deal with these conflicts. Some people tend to take an approach that is too direct. Others shy away from confrontations to avoid hurting other people's feelings, to protect their own feelings, or because they lack confidence, which often leads to unresolved issues and lingering problems. There is middle ground.

Using the right approaches, you can deal with conflicts in effective ways that resolve the issues while maintaining positive relationships. This starts with clearly understanding the issues and the personalities involved. When you understand different styles of conflict resolution, you are able to see things from the other person's point of view. Simply having empathy for another person's perspective will go a long way towards resolving those conflicts.

Step 1: Have a positive attitude. Your attitude is essential to the outcome. You have a much better chance of coming to an outcome involving mutual gains if you approach the conflict as an opportunity to learn and achieve a win-win outcome.

Step 2: Meet on mutual ground. Find a mutually agreeable, comfortable, and convenient space to meet. Agree on when you will meet and how much time you want to devote to the process. Whenever possible, deal with conflict face-to-face.

Step 3: Do your homework. Take time to plan. You must not only know what is at stake for yourself, but you need to understand the other side's concerns and motivation. Take into consideration any history or past situations that might affect the resolution. Know the must-haves (non-negotiable items) and nice-to-haves (negotiable items). Determine the best resolution, a fair and reasonable compromise, and a minimally acceptable outcome.

Step 4: Look for shared interests. Get on the same side by finding and establishing similarities. Since conflict tends to magnify perceived differences and minimise similarities, look for common goals, objectives, or even gripes that illustrate that you are in this together. Focus on the future, talk about what is to be done, and tackle the problem jointly.

Step 5: Deal with facts, not emotions. Address problems, not personalities. Avoid any tendency to attack other people or to pass judgment on ideas and opinions. Avoid focusing on the past or blaming others. Maintain a rational, goal-oriented frame of mind. This will depersonalise the conflict, separate the issues from the people involved, and avoid defensiveness.

Step 6: Present alternatives and provide evidence. Create options and alternatives that demonstrate willingness to compromise. Consider conceding in areas that might have high value to others but are not that important to you. Frame options in terms of the other people's interests and provide evidence for your point of view.

Step 7: Be an expert communicator. Nothing shows determination to find a mutually satisfactory resolution to conflict more than applying excellent communication skills. Ask questions, listen, rephrase what you heard to check for understanding, and take a genuine interest in each person's concerns. Focus on ways in which you can move toward a resolution or compromise.

Step 8: End on a good note. Make a win-win proposal and check to make sure that everyone involved leaves the situation feeling they have won. Shake on it and agree on the action steps, who is responsible for each step, how success will be measured, and how and when the resolution will be evaluated. If there is a deadlock on non-critical issues, agree to disagree.

Step 9: Enjoy the process. Appreciate the benefits of learning other people's perspective. People report that after overcoming conflict and reaching an agreement, the relationship grew even stronger. Reflect and learn from each experience. Determine the criteria to evaluate the process and the solution.

www.London.dalecarnegie.com

What challenging times?

Five months into the role...Wow, it feels like it went very quick.

I was told I started in one of the hardest times the business has ever faced. I wouldn't know, for me there's no benchmark to compare it with and also we had and still have some great opportunities.

Do you think having a positive attitude can affect your results? Do you think we can choose our attitude and set ourselves for success? I am convinced of that.

Worrying about the economic crisis and thinking people won't spend money on training was not on my agenda. I strongly believe in what we offer, it not only changes people's lives but more importantly it helps improve business results. That's the reason people and businesses see the value in investing in this type of development, even in these challenging times.

Have a positive outlook no matter what's happening around you, you'll see better results for yourself and for your business.

Corina Balaneanu

Sales Consultant

www.London.dalecarnegie.com