Christmas Wish

Did you get your Christmas wish this year?

Ok, how about your ideal Christmas gift? A quick search on ebay using the term “unwanted Christmas gifts” returns 1018 items. A search under “unwanted gifts” returns more than double!
Personally, I am keener to give gifts than receive. However, I do accept any gifts with open arms. So if anyone feels that they want to get me an ipad 2 after reading this, please do not let me stop you.

All jokes aside I want to share a couple of things about two people I admire. These two people have worked very hard and smart to get to where they are.

The first is one of my mentor’s, who just the other day mentioned that he was sitting with his fiancé looking at their respective and collective 2011 to do list. Marking off all the things that have been achieved and getting ready for the things that need to be achieved in 2012. He is always clear on want he wants to achieve in the business and personally. In fact he could describe a 3 year plan for the business “off the cuff” because he has spends so much time and energy on it.

I am sure you have been told that writing down goals makes them more real. Let me explain why I believe this is the case. By writing down your goals, instead of having a vague idea of what you need you force yourself to be more specific. Secondly, if you look at your goals on a regularly basis, you will be continuously reminded of what you should be focusing on each day.

The second is my best friend (sister and another one of my mentors). She has done really well for herself. She always has goals for the short term, mid term and long term. In fact, I am sure if you were to bump into her today you will find that she carries a notepad with all these respective goals written down. A few years back she wrote a five-year plan on where she wants to be. She then went about trying to connect with people that are doing the very thing she would like to do. Emails, phone calls, whatever it took to get some time with these people to find out how they got there and what they like, dislike about what they do. By doing this she created a clear path that she knew (provided she was willing to work extremely hard) would get her to where she wants, nay, needs to be.

Both of these people are a massive positive influence in my life, so much so that I have made out my game plan for 2012. As opposed to a list I have written my vision in a document which details all the things I want to achieve both professional and personally over the course of the next year. I have also ensured that I used positive and powerful language in the document. I also talk about my feelings on reaching my goals, so it is written in the present tense.

It will not cost you anything to do this. Spend some time leading up to 2012 thinking about everything thing you want to achieve then articulate this in the form of a vision. I recommended you keep somewhere you can see it regularly, whether that is by your desk or by your bed side so that it is the first and last thing you see everyday.

I will leave you with a couple of quotes.....

Robert Collier
Imagination gives you the picture. Vision gives you the impulse to make the picture your own.

Peter Marshall
Give to us clear vision that we may know where to stand and what to stand for - because unless we stand for something, we shall fall for anything.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Amar Garcha

How to set achievable new year resolutions in few simple steps !

With new years just round the corner, the chat in the office today has focused around what we would like to achieve personally in 2012 ? As we all know the first question we are asked by everybody after they have recovered from the festive seasons holidays is ……(drum roll) …… So Kevin what are your new years resolutions going to be for 2012?

I believe that question could possibly be rephrased to what are your new year procrastination resoultions ? because how many times have we or one of our close friends set some goals that in the end they never even came close to achieving?

Well, if you find yourself falling into the procrastation catergory then you are in the right place because both Dale Carnegie and Heidi Grant Halvorson who is an motivational psychologist, Ph.D. and author of the book Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals. Explains below in detail how we can set new year resolutiuons and truly achieve them.

Below are extracts from blog written by Heidi Grant Halvorson for the Harvard Business Review Daily.

Research on achievement suggests that successful people reach their goals not simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do. Here are 9 simple steps that we can all follow :

1. Get specific. When you set yourself a goal, try to be as specific as possible. "Lose 5 pounds" is a better goal than "lose some weight," because it gives you a clear idea of what success looks like. Knowing exactly what you want to achieve keeps you motivated until you get there. Also, think about the specific actions that need to be taken to reach your goal. Just promising you'll "eat less" or "sleep more" is too vague — be clear and precise. "I'll be in bed by 10pm on weeknights" leaves no room for doubt about what you need to do, and whether or not you've actually done it.

2. Seize the moment to act on your goals. Given how busy most of us are, and how many goals we are juggling at once, it's not surprising that we routinely miss opportunities to act on a goal because we simply fail to notice them. Did you really have no time to work out today? No chance at any point to return that phone call? Achieving your goal means grabbing hold of these opportunities before they slip through your fingers.

To seize the moment, decide when and where you will take each action you want to take, in advance. Again, be as specific as possible (e.g., "If it's Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, I'll work out for 30 minutes before work.") Studies show that this kind of planning will help your brain to detect and seize the opportunity when it arises, increasing your chances of success by roughly 300%.

3. Know exactly how far you have left to go. Achieving any goal also requires honest and regular monitoring of your progress — if not by others, then by you yourself. If you don't know how well you are doing, you can't adjust your behavior or your strategies accordingly. Check your progress frequently — weekly, or even daily, depending on the goal.


4. Be a realistic optimist. When you are setting a goal, by all means engage in lots of positive thinking about how likely you are to achieve it. Believing in your ability to succeed is enormously helpful for creating and sustaining your motivation. But whatever you do, don't underestimate how difficult it will be to reach your goal.

Most goals worth achieving require time, planning, effort, and persistence. Studies show that thinking things will come to you easily and effortlessly leaves you ill-prepared for the journey ahead, and significantly increases the odds of failure.

5. Focus on getting better, rather than being good. Believing you have the ability to reach your goals is important, but so is believing you can get the ability. Many of us believe that our intelligence, our personality, and our physical aptitudes are fixed — that no matter what we do, we won't improve. As a result, we focus on goals that are all about proving ourselves, rather than developing and acquiring new skills.

Fortunately, decades of research suggest that the belief in fixed ability is completely wrong — abilities of all kinds are profoundly malleable. Embracing the fact that you can change will allow you to make better choices, and reach your fullest potential. People whose goals are about getting better, rather than being good, take difficulty in stride, and appreciate the journey as much as the destination.

6. Have grit. Grit is a willingness to commit to long-term goals, and to persist in the face of difficulty. Studies show that gritty people obtain more education in their lifetime, and earn higher college GPAs. Grit predicts which cadets will stick out their first grueling year at West Point. In fact, grit even predicts which round contestants will make it to at the Scripps National Spelling Bee.

The good news is, if you aren't particularly gritty now, there is something you can do about it. People who lack grit more often than not believe that they just don't have the innate abilities successful people have. If that describes your own thinking .... well, there's no way to put this nicely: you are wrong. As I mentioned earlier, effort, planning, persistence, and good strategies are what it really takes to succeed. Embracing this knowledge will not only help you see yourself and your goals more accurately, but also do wonders for your grit.

7. Build your willpower muscle. Your self-control "muscle" is just like the other muscles in your body — when it doesn't get much exercise, it becomes weaker over time. But when you give it regular workouts by putting it to good use, it will grow stronger and stronger, and better able to help you successfully reach your goals.
To build willpower, take on a challenge that requires you to do something you'd honestly rather not do. Give up high-fat snacks, do 100 sit-ups a day, stand up straight when you catch yourself slouching, try to learn a new skill.

When you find yourself wanting to give in, give up, or just not bother — don't. Start with just one activity, and make a plan for how you will deal with troubles when they occur ("If I have a craving for a snack, I will eat one piece of fresh or three pieces of dried fruit.") It will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier, and that's the whole point. As your strength grows, you can take on more challenges and step-up your self-control workout.

8. Don't tempt fate. No matter how strong your willpower muscle becomes, it's important to always respect the fact that it is limited, and if you overtax it you will temporarily run out of steam. Don't try to take on two challenging tasks at once, if you can help it (like quitting smoking and dieting at the same time). And don't put yourself in harm's way — many people are overly-confident in their ability to resist temptation, and as a result they put themselves in situations where temptations abound. Successful people know not to make reaching a goal harder than it already is.

9. Focus on what you will do, not what you won't do. Do you want to successfully lose weight, quit smoking, or put a lid on your bad temper? Then plan how you will replace bad habits with good ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits themselves. Research on thought suppression (e.g., "Don't think about white bears!") has shown that trying to avoid a thought makes it even more active in your mind. The same holds true when it comes to behavior — by trying not to engage in a bad habit, our habits get strengthened rather than broken.

If you want to change your ways, ask yourself, What will I do instead? For example, if you are trying to gain control of your temper and stop flying off the handle, you might make a plan like "If I am starting to feel angry, then I will take three deep breaths to calm down." By using deep breathing as a replacement for giving in to your anger, your bad habit will get worn away over time until it disappears completely.

My new years resolution after writing this weeks blog is the following :

Less talking and way way more action .....and the outcome I’m looking for is to run one half marathon by 2013 , so who’s joining me ?

Mark de Stadler
Performance Consultant
Dale Carnegie London office
0207 379 4323

Merry Christmas

2011 is nearly over, and we are very much looking forward to the new year. We have a range of new programs starting, as well as celebrating our 100th anniversary, which we are very excited about.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank you for reading our blog, and gaining an insight into the Dale Carnegie World. The new year will continue to bring further information, smiles and how we are applying Dale Carnegies' principles in real life examples, as well as new information.

We wish you a wonderful Christmas and a prosperous New Year!


From all at Dale Carnegie London

How to deal with difficult people? What if he is your boss?

You know these people that think they are always right? People who cut you off before you finish your talk, because they know the words you are going to say.
I had to work with this person for many years as a key colleague at my organisation.

Looking at things from the other way around, I felt that if I left him to treat me like this, he would remain behaving that way, or even doing it more and more. On the other side, if I confronted him, then we could end up in a big fight where nobody wins. What would you do if this person was your boss? And quitting is not an option!

After some years, I realized that there are more than the two options of to fight or fly. There are other options like to understand that the reason this person is behaving in this way, is because it’s the only way he knows. Think about! He is doing his best to deal with this issue and, more than often they are treating us like that because they honestly think it will be in our best interest. They think this is the best way to make us put into action.

Be honest, we can’t blame someone for something that we are already doing as well. When we strongly believe in something, we become defensive to protect our ideas such as where our company should be going, the education of our kids, where we should live, etc.

My message: Be compassionate, try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view and be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires. This is the way that we will make them feel more comfortable with us (less aggressive / defensive) and opening channels of communication. This will allow you to get their will and achieve your goals.

Merry Christmas & A Happy New year

Jose Bort

Christmas spirit!

What makes events outside work so important?

We had our Christmas party on Tuesday...our usual venue The Royal Automobile Club (Pall Mall). I know, very posh!

It's always great to get together and have conversations outside work, people are more relaxed and you get a better insight into people's lives. A funny question was posed to our MD, David: "So how are you like outside work?". I thought that was very candid and subsequently very entertaining. It's those kind of conversations we wouldn't normally have in the office..and it's those kind of conversations we tend to remember.

So why don't we get together outside work more often? We are all very busy people. From my experience when we invest some time to really get to know people around us we build stronger relationships, we are more engaged and we achieve more.

Have a great Festive Season!

Corina Balaneanu

Consultant

"Carpe Diem - So What?"

This popular phrase is often translated into, as we know, 'seize the day'. But it's not the full phrase and so, as we will see later, perhaps it became foreshortened because the full phrase is less easy to live by. It is an easy act, a simple behavioural affirmation. It infers take chances, perhaps take risks. To some it might mean those risks are ill judged. For others it might mean giving in, or giving up. For a few it just might stimulate an expansion of their comfort zone. For others it might just get them moved beyond their comfort zone and into the unknown.

I have recently grown to have great regard for the writings of M.Scott Peck, particularly his classic 1980's piece, 'The Road Less Travelled'. Right the way through this, its sequels and related works, the authors stress that we all have choices in life. I get the feeling Scott Peck admonishes the majority of us that make up todays society for taking the easy choices route. Indeed his opening sentence is 'Life is difficult'.

So let's now think about seizing the day and what it might really take:
Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero – "Seize the Day, putting as little trust as possible in the future"

Here's the real point, or at least my feelings about the point. If we should put little trust in the future then perhaps today is the only opportunity we have. Even, at THIS moment we have the opportunity. Later today we may not have. It is the only opportunity to love, smile, be happy, be there, be with, to create, to care, to .....

Dale Carnegie in his book 'How to Stop Worrying and Start Living', Chapter 1, suggests we 'live in day tight compartments. The easy thing to say is - 'I will not let the emotional experience of one event impact on the next'. The difficult thing will be not to let that moment pass without getting the very most from it, especially if the most is for the entire benefit of others.

The road less travelled will be to love, smile, be happy, be there, be with, to create, to care, to .....
You can make up your mind what follows the dots ....

Have a wondrous Christmas and glorious New Year

David Pickering

Catch my Disease :)

Florida, the sunshine state, where everyone is smiley and wears flip flops year round. It’s my home; Orlando, Florida to be exact. “What on earth would I be doing here?” you might ask. Well, that’s another story for another time.

I’ve been in England just over two years now and yes, I absolutely miss home. I miss the food, Disney World, Universal Studios, New Smyrna Beach, warm weather, and friendly faces. Also, nothing compares to a having a sunny Christmas where it’s 23 degrees out (sigh).

Then on the other hand, there’s London. Fish and chips, Thorpe Park, Madame Tussaud's, Brighton, rain, and less smiley faces. I struggled quite a bit when I first moved here because well…. you may understand where I’m going with all of this.

You can’t make eye contact with passers-by, people step on your feet or shove you without saying excuse me and even worse, if you even try to ask a stranger a question, he/she may look at you as if you have seven heads.

Those behaviours really got me down for a while until one day I decided I would buck the trend and treat everyone the way I did while living in Florida.

No matter where I went or who I interacted with, I would give a smile. It’s amazing how contagious it is when you smile. You should try it sometime. I even do the same on the underground on my way in to work. In fact, just this morning there was a woman standing in front of me who looked really umm…..let’s just say, unhappy. We made eye contact, I smiled and she surprisingly gave me a very warm smile right back. Her smile made me grin and as I walked off the train onto the platform, my grin made someone else in passing smile. I’m sure the woman might have thought, “Uh, why is she smiling at me? That’s a bit weird.” In the end it worked anyway, she smiled!

I even go as far as talking to the clerks at grocery tills and asking them about their day. This is all much to their dismay of course, but I believe some of them actually like it when others take an interest in what they’re doing.

I acknowledge that not everyone you try this with will react as positively as you might want them to, but I really challenge you to smile more. It’s contagious whether other people recognise it or not.


Stacey McPherson

Never give up your dreams

Image courtesy of The Big Issue

I have been known in the past to talk about Billie The Big Issue Seller, mainly because personally I find her extremely inspiring.

From the time I have known her – about 8 or 9 years – she has met Boris Johnson, The Prime Minister (and been inside Number 10 Downing Street), appeared on Radio London talking about the Night Walk, had numerous articles written about her, the latest one being in Time Out Magazine a few months ago and is somewhat of a celebrity in her own right on the corner of Cranbourn Street and St Martin’s Lane.

The reason for me talking about her once again is because in less than two months time she will be employed and helping people who are in need of drug and alcohol rehabilitation.

Just over a year ago we stood on her pitch chatting about the winter weather and how cold it was – I think at that point snow had fallen in London. She told me that she was worried about being out in the cold in the mornings as her health is not too good due to the years of abuse she put her body through. She just didn’t want to do it anymore. As we were chatting we got on to the subject of working with people who needed help to conquer their drug and alcohol addictions and that she would be perfect for the role. It was something I knew at the time Billie would be good at as she has a real way with people. I will never forget how she looked out for me, hugged me and listened to me when my father was going through terminal cancer. She was amazing.

It was Billie’s dream and one that she held on to.

A few months ago her long term relationship ended and she was almost forced back on the streets again. It’s the only time I have ever seen Billie lost and quiet (you can hear her cheery voice from a good distance). She was scared as she didn’t want to go down that road again. Her customers rallied round and gave back to Billie what she had given to them in all the years she was on that corner. We gave her encouragement, towels, bed linen, curtains....customers looked after her dog when she couldn’t have her and they even gave her money to see her through whilst she was unable to work in order to sit at the council and beg for somewhere to stay. She was given emergency accommodation and started to get back on her feet.

Image courtesy of the London Housing Trust

It was at this accommodation that she met the landlord who helped house people with drug and alcohol problems and they saw her in action. Saw how she dealt with people. And how she really understood them as she had been there. She didn’t judge, but listened.

Around that time Billie started taking days off from her pitch, which is rare for her and it turns out that she was put on a course to become a drug and alcohol rehabilitation counsellor so she could do this properly. They loved her so much and admired how she helped people that they offered her a job. She has her own office, computer and above all respect.

So as from the end of January, Billie will be starting a new phase in her life. With everything she has been through – and from what I have read, she has been through a lot – she deserves to have this chance. She will be missed on the corner as she is more of a friend than a Big Issue Seller, but I am over the moon that she is doing what she loves especially as she told me that she was made to do this job.

And it goes to prove that when you have a dream, a goal, an ambition, never let it go, hold on to it and take little steps to make it happen. Grasp opportunities and say out loud what you want. Your dream can come true too!

You can read Billy's story here
Helen Mills

Dale Carnegie Catalogue

After months of hard work, we are very proud to announce that the first of many, Dale Carnegie London Autumn/Winter Catalogues have arrived in our office, and has hopefully landed on your desk too.

The catalogue has been created to celebrate Dale Carnegie 100th Anniversary, and throughout next year we will be celebrating this achievement with new & exciting courses, seminars and new material, to illustrate that Dale Carnegie’s principles are just as relevant today, as they were 100 years ago.

The catalogue is available as a hard and soft copy, and allows for anyone to search the Dale Carnegie offerings with ease. It not only contains our classic courses such as the World known Dale Carnegie Course, but also our newest additions such as the 1 day Public Speaking Mastery program, and our 3 hour on-line training programs.

Access the Dale Carnegie London new catalogue at a click of a button today by visiting: https://www.london.dalecarnegie.co.uk/assets/223/7/Dale_Carnegie_Autumn_11_catalogue_Lo_res.pdf

Alternatively if you would like to receive a hard copy or have any questions please contact us at 0844 800 8260.

Stephanie Fletcher

When Push comes to Shove

Due to the fact that I now work in Central London, I have been forced to become one of many commuters using London’s tube system and endure the dreaded rush hour. The myth of being one of hundreds of sardines trapped in an elongated tin can has now become a reality for me and it’s safe to say I’ve experienced far more comfortable journeys in my short time on this earth. I have discovered there is a great irony with all passengers who use the tube. Unless you are travelling in a group, we completely isolate ourselves from one another. We do not make eye contact, share a smile and conversation is mainly restricted to, ‘have you finished with the Metro.’ In spite of this however, no matter how much we refrain from any form of social interaction, everybody at some level is thinking one collective thought.

‘I hope I get a seat.’

There’s no need to be ashamed of this. I’m certainly not. I see nothing wrong with not wanting my journey to work at 7am to consist of being elbowed in the ribs by someone trying to turn the page of the latest bestseller or tripping over somebody’s luggage fresh off the plane at Heathrow. My dilemma comes not from wanting a seat, but from what potentially could happen if you’re fortunate enough to obtain one. Aside from the sense of victory you feel, you have now unknowingly placed yourself in the position of being a human moral compass. How so I hear you cry? An example would probably be most fitting.

Its 7.15am. I’ve been on the tube for ten minutes and the train is just pulling up to South Ealing. The very little patience I have in my grouchy and tired state is being tested to the limit by a man who, despite being sandwiched between me and the door, still feels this is the perfect time to read a broadsheet newspaper even with his head at an unnatural forty five degree angle. I was about five seconds away from offering my own, somewhat unsubtle opinion on when is the best time to catch up on world events when suddenly I spotted a gentleman in a seat folding up his newspaper. He places it behind his head by the window and grabs, but does not pick up his bag. This is a clear indication that the man is preparing to vacate the chair and I begin my approach. Slowly, so as not to arouse suspicion, I stalk my way across towards where he’s seated, using the tried and tested, ‘I need to see the tube map to work out how many stops I have left’ method as justification for my movement. We arrive at South Ealing and as I anticipated, the man arises from this chair and proceeds towards the doors. Quick as a flash, I swan dive towards the now vacated seat and in one swift movement grab the paper he left behind, open it to the sports section and plant my derriere in the chair, making sure not to knock the recently purchased Kindle out of the hands of the person next to me.

Triumphant, I sat on my new found throne adorned with an out of date seat pattern and worn in piece of chewing gum, safe in the knowledge that my journey would be one of relative comfort from here on in…or so I thought. No sooner had I selected an album to serenade me into central London, was a man tapping me on the head (and I literally mean my head, like he was telling off a dog) claiming angrily that I had stolen his seat. Unfortunately we weren’t underground yet so I couldn’t pretend that I was finding it hard to hear him and naturally everyone was listening. I must confess that my natural instinct in situations such as this would be to confront the gentleman, question his entitlement to the aforementioned seat and declare unashamedly that I would not be moving. I do not shy away from verbal confrontation as I can talk anyone into the ground; I might not even be right but I’ll still win through sheer perseverance. The stage was set for a showdown.

Suddenly, I remembered a key phrase from a book I was reading. The book had been given to me as I had recently started working for Dale Carnegie and it was titled, ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People.’ The phrase was simply, ‘The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.’ I sometimes have a problem processing books but I always find that certain sentences and ideas stick out and due to my argumentative nature, this sentence stuck out like the proverbial sore thumb. Realising that this was an ideal opportunity to try out such a technique I simply smiled at the man, stood up and ushered him into the seat offering my apologies. To my astonishment, he smiled back and offered his thanks. He then too apologised and went on to tell me that he had had the worst possible start to his day and even something as small as getting a seat on the tube had made him feel that much better. With a simple change of mentality I had gone from being a further nuisance to a man having a bad day, to being part of the solution to his downbeat morning.

You might be reading this and like me, find yourself in confrontation far too often and sometimes might even seek confrontation for the sake of it. I would encourage you to take onboard, as I did, the words that Dale Carnegie phrased so expertly. ‘The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.’ I’d like to think that ‘the best’ not only applies to what you get out of it, but like my example shows, could also be the best thing for the other person too.

Brett Mills

Dale Carnegie & Jeffrey Gitomer form partnership to deliver world leading sales training

Exciting news!!!!! At this years Annual Dale Carnegie Convention in San Diego it's been announced that the leading Author Jeffrey Gittomer and Dale Carnegie Training have formed a partnership to develop some of the worlds leading sales training collateral and the first step will be to launch a new programme in 2012 titled Jump Start Your Sales Success that will be followed later in 2012 with an advanced sales training and a cutting edge sales management programme.

Learn more about our new partner here.

In a world now dominated by social media where it is infinitely easier to find out information about products and services over the internet and even evaluate the sales person coming to meet you on facebook, linked in and google. Buyers are more informed than at any time in history therefore to differentiate ourselves in this competitive information heavy market we need to recognise as Gitomer says 'People hate to be sold to but love to buy' These new programmes will help you to get onto your clients agenda and sell more than ever.

Watch this space for further updates on this exciting new sales curriculum.

David Anderson
Managing Director

POT LUCK

I have just experienced my first Thanksgiving meal. This lunch time we partook in something called Pot Luck. If like me you are unfamiliar with this term, please let me explain… but just before I do I’ll give you a little back story as to how Thanksgiving found its way into our office in London. Recently a young lady (Stacey) joined the team. She hails from the good ole US of A and she suggested that for lunch everybody brings some food in and we all eat together.

That’s what pot luck is, it is as simple as that. I am lucky enough to belong to a team that are close and we share a common vision to ensure that each of us and the business as a whole is successful and yet our lunch seems to be a rather more private affair. Normally, everyone takes an each to their own approach when it comes to that midday meal.

However, today we managed to fashion a smorgasbord of epic proportions. Needless to say the pot luck approach went down really well with the whole team. We had a really great time, eating, talking laughing and listening to Jose’s (Our Special One), let’s just say eclectic mix of music.

We didn't manage to get through all the food but we were efficient in cleaning up and getting back to work. The rest of the day seemed to fly by and everyone seemed a little bit chirpier.

It did make me reflect that something so simple can create such a great atmosphere in the office.

Someone senior in the organization told me when I first started in the company that people support a world they help create. Well, today through the guidance of Stace we created a Thanksgiving feast and were all better for it.

Regardless of your position within your organisation, why don’t you try something to see if you can also increase the level of engagement of your colleagues?

I am really looking forward to the festive period as it approaches and am really excited about Christmas. Maybe if I’m lucky enough the team will rally around and soon we will be having POT LUCK PART DEUX.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Amar Garcha

Obtaining willing commitment by understanding what influences others !

Human interaction is based on a entricate system of give and take. Quick example could be as simple as “I will do this for you even if I won’t get something in return right now, because you will ‘owe me one’ for future redemption.”

Robert B. Cialdini, a professor in psychology at Arizona State University, has been studying the importance of persuasion in influencing our social and workplace relationships.
From his research in this area, Cialdini has identified six widely used and usually successful principles of influence:

1. Reciprocation.
People are more willing to comply with requests (for favours, services, information, and concessions) from those who have provided such things first. Because people feel an obligation to reciprocate, Cialdini found that free samples in supermarkets, free home inspections by exterminating companies, and free gifts through the mail from marketers or fund raisers were all highly effective ways to increase compliance with a follow-up request.

For example, according to the American Disabled Veterans organization, mailing out a simple appeal for donations produces an 18% success rate. Enclosing a small gift, such as personalized address labels, nearly doubles the success rate to 35%. “Since you sent me some useful address labels, I’ll send you a small donation in return.”

2. Commitment and Consistency.
People are more willing to be moved in a particular direction if they see it as consistent with an existing or recently-made commitment. For instance, high pressure door-to-door sales companies are plagued by the tendency of some buyers to cancel the deal after the salesperson has left and the pressure to buy is no longer present.

When you visit a car dealer to purchase a new car, one of the first questions asked by the sales person is, “What kind of qualities are you looking for in a car?” They then proceed to direct you to models that have attributes that are consistent your needs in a car.

3. Authority.
People are more willing to follow the directions or recommendations of someone they view as an authority. Few people have enough self-assertiveness to question authority directly, especially when that authority holds direct power over an individual and is in a face-to-face confrontation or situation.

This is why children are especially vulnerable to adults (and especially trusted adults such teachers or camp counselors) — they are taught to view adults as authority figures, and will often do what they are told without question.

4. Social Validation.
People are more willing to take a recommended step if they see evidence that many others, especially similar others, are taking, buying or using it. Manufacturers make use of this principle by claiming that their product is the fastest growing or largest selling in the market.

Cialdini found that the strategy of increasing compliance by providing evidence of others who had already complied was the most widely used of the six principles he encountered.
Some people need to feel like they are a part of the “in crowd” by using or doing what everybody else is perceived as using or doing.

5. Scarcity.
People find objects and opportunities more attractive to the degree that they are scarce, rare, or dwindling in availability. Hence, newspaper ads are filled with warnings to potential customers regarding the folly of delay: “Last three days.” “Limited time offer.” “One week only sale.”
One particularly single-minded movie theatre owner who managed to load three separate appeals to the scarcity principle into just five words of advertising copy that read, “Exclusive, limited engagement, ends soon.”

6. Liking and Friendship.
People prefer to say yes to those they know and like. If you doubt that is the case, consider the remarkable success of the Tupperware Home Party Corporation, which arranges for customers to buy its products not from a stranger across a counter but from the neighbour, friend, or relative who has sponsored Tupperware party and who gets a percentage of its profits.

According to interviews done by Cialdini, many people attend the parties and purchase the products not out of a need for more containers that go pffft when you press on them, but out of a sense of liking or friendship toward the party sponsor.

A social network’s business value is in the sheer number of people who sign up to use it. And what better way to induce people to drive new users and traffic to their sites than to have friends recommend the site to their other friends?

Obviously, not every situation is open to direct persuasion or influence using one of these six factors. But being aware of these factors may help you better navigate a personal, family or work situation better in the future.

The renowned communication specialist Dale Carnegie once said, “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” People are far more willing to help you get your way with something if they view you as someone similar to them, are friendly and polite, and treat the other person as though you were asking a favour or task of yourself.

Therefore to quickly summarize this weeks blog . By understanding what motivates people to take action allows you gain the willing co-operation , so treat others like you would like to be treated by them and you will increase your ability to influence and motivate people to take action.

Mark de Stadler
Performance Consultant

How to Tweet like Dale Carnegie

“The two highest levels of influence are achieved when
1) people follow you because of what you’ve done for them and
2) people follow you because of who you are,”

A recent article reviewing the book How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital World, explores how Dale Carnegie's classic advice makes a lot of sense when applied to the world of social media.

Here are seven social media tips from Dale Carnegie:

1. Take your criticism offline. Little good comes from public humiliation, whether it’s by Tweet or blog post. The rise of anonymous message boards and online comments seem to incubate negativity, but Carnegie warns that engaging in that kind of back-and-forth does little good for anybody. (And, in fact, the book points out that some people have even gotten fired for posting negative comments about their work on Facebook.)

2. Commit to self-improvement instead. Instead of telling other people what they could do better, Carnegie’s strategy involves saving the harshest criticism for oneself. “To win friends and influence others in today’s world takes … the understated eloquence of grace and self-deprecation,” states the book.

3. Focus on other people’s interests, not your own. This might be a hard one to follow, given that Twitter asks users to describe “what’s happening” to them and Facebook similarly inquires about one’s status updates, but according to Carnegie’s philosophy, social media users must resist the temptation to talk about themselves. Instead, ask about others, comment and inquire about their own updates, and focus on what interests them, not you.

4. Engage with others. According to the book, bestselling author Ann Rice responds to every piece of fan mail she receives, which further builds her following. (The author currently has close to 30,000 Twitter followers.) Social media, after all, is all about interaction, and people use those platforms with the hope of hearing directly from their favorite author, celebrity, or company. Companies like Zappos take advantage of this fact and use social media to build their brands.

5. Smile. Dour expressions might be rampant on Twitter profiles and Facebook pages, but Carnegie’s book proposes a more toothy expression. In fact, it cites recent research that analyzed Facebook profiles and found that people who frown in photos tend to be on the outskirts of social networks instead of in the center of them. In other words, smiling gets you more friends (and influence).

6. Spread positivity. On that same note, if you can make other people smile, you’ll also grow your own popularity. Tweeting positive thoughts is far more effective than tweeting negative ones, according to the book. In fact, it recommends skipping negative Tweets and posts altogether.

7. Don’t argue. Has anyone ever won a back-and-forth over Twitter? Or by leaving snarky comments on an online article? Carnegie’s strategy dictates that even if the answer is “yes,” the potential damage to your reputation by such an exchange makes such public arguments bad ideas. “While you in fact might be right and the other person wrong, there is no sense in denting a person’s ego or permanently damaging a relationship,” states the book.

Cold Calling. What is it happening?

It’s funny…

Sales people blame prospects because they don’t give them enough attention.
Sales people blame sales people cold calling.
Sales people would like to sell more but they don’t want to talk to a new prospect by cold calling.

Receptionist don’t like cold calling.
Executives don’t like cold calling.
Executives blame sales people because they don’t make enough calls!

I think I made my point here. The question then is, Why?

Why would Sales people like to make more cold calls?
Why don’t Executives know how to make cold calls?
Why don’t Telesales trainers like to make cold calls?

AND THE ANSWER IS…

We need to bring Curiosity in a second through a Cold Call, but this is not an easy task because each person is different and each person can be impulse by different motivations.

The more impulsive we can be in the shortest period of time, the more present our prospect will be. Being in the present and grabbing people’s attention is the way to engage them.

To find out more, come along to our “Effective Communications & Human Relations “preview on 16th November at 6.00pm at the Sheraton Park Lane Hotel.

Jose Bort
Performance Consultant

Be Ready for this Funny Old World

So there it was, just round the corner, this blaze of white. Fresh, beautiful and vibrant.
This sudden warm spell of the last few days here in the South East had caused a Viburnum to burst into flower. A hand written sign said that it was more usual for this to occur in April or May. Was it six months early or six months late. I don't think the Viburnum cared less.

Nobody knows of cause. That is, nobody but the Viburnum. Something had happened that caused it to just go ahead and flower. Being true to itself and the influences of nature it just did what it knows best. No, what if's, maybe's, I wonder's, perhaps or am I dressed properly, is this the right thing to do. It just got on and did it.

Delivering our latest Executive Leadership Programme caused me to reflect that if we are going to get the most out of our life we should be like nature - natural and responsive to what is going on around us.

How many of us, I wonder, sleep walk through life. I know I did. Not noticing all the opportunities that presented themselves, not going with the flow and resisting when resistance what not appropriate or necessary. That was then and this is now, and being much more aware of the world, I sought to understand what had happened to the Viburnum.

What an obvious parallel with life. So next time you find you have missed the opportunity to flower. Wake Up. And as the Nike ad says - just do it.

Call me if you want to know more about waking up to life as it happens.

David Pickering

Business Consultant and Trainer

How To Win Friends & Influence People in the Digital Age

With Dale Carnegie Training turning 100 years old next year, we have some brilliant new releases being launched throughout the year, to celebrate this fantastic achievement.

The newest addition to the Dale Carnegie World, is the release of the new book, How To Win Friends & Influence People in the Digital Age.


Dale Carnegie’s principles have endured for nearly a century. Since its original publication in 1936, his timeless classic How to Win Friends & Influence People has gone on to sell 15 million copies World Wide. Now, introducing new readers to Carnegie’s words of wisdom comes, How to Win Friends & Influence People in the Digital Age, a new guide for a new era. The book includes advice for bloggers but keeps the rules of the 1936 original.




In Jolie O’Dell latest review, he states how Dale Carnegie original techniques are as relevant today, as they were in 1936. “Handal says this book’s revamping brings something new to the table. It not only shows us how to avoid hurting ourselves with our online behavior; it also tells us how we can take these online tools and be proactive about using them to benefit our careers and lives.” http://venturebeat.com/2011/10/06/win-friends-influence-people/




How To Win Friends & Influence People in the Digital Age, is out now to purchase, and is a must-have guide for anyone who wants to find success on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and any social media format today and in the future.




I leave you with the top 5 principles to follow in order to know How To Win Friends and Influence People, which are just as relevant 75 years on:




1. Don’t critize, condemn or complain
2. Give honest, sincere appreciation
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want
4. Become genuinely interested in other people
5. Smile

Stephanie Fletcher
Marketing Assistant
www.london.dalecarnegie.com
0207 379 4323

The end of an era....

This week the world mourned the death of an inspirational and visionary man. Steve Jobs made an impression on the world. He changed the world. He inspired generations of people and showed how with hard work, dedication and perseverance, you can turn an idea into a world leading product. That anything is achievable.

He touched the lives of millions of people, some famous, most of us not, and I think it’s safe to say that without Steve Jobs, the world of computing and all it’s devices would not be where they are today

A few months ago I came across Steve Jobs commencement speech at Standford University and in all honesty, it was one of the most amazing and inspirational speeches I have ever heard. How fortunate those graduates were to have Steve Jobs address them as they embark on their future. I would love to know if any of them really listened to him and took his advice. If you haven’t watched it, then I urge you to do so. It’s amazing, thought provoking and inspirational.

Here is an excerpt from it:

(After being fired from Apple).....”Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.”

For anyone looking to make life changes there are books you can read, videos you can watch and programmes you can attend and like Steve says, don’t settle. The world really is your oyster.

Steve Jobs death has had a profound effect on me – I was quite surprised to be honest just exactly how it has affected me. I am a user of Apple products and have been for some time now, but it’s not that. It’s that the world has lost a creative genius at such a tender age of 56 and that in itself is tragic.

I’d like to leave you with some quotes that have been in the press since his death:

Barrack Obama - "Steve was among the greatest of American innovators - brave enough to think differently, bold enough to believe he could change the world, and talented enough to do it. The world has lost a visionary. And there may be no greater tribute to Steve's success than the fact that much of the world learned of his passing on a device he invented."

Bill Gates, his friend, competitor - "I will miss Steve immensely. The world rarely sees someone who has had the profound impact Steve has had, the effects of which will be felt for many generations to come.

Carol Bartz, former Yahoo Boss - "He got to where he was because he had a vision and a purpose. It's easy to try and please everyone, but he kept to his principles."

Thank you Steve for being an inspiration.

Helen Mills
Financial Controller

Networking in style

On Tuesday evening I attended a good seminar held at Altitude 360 Bar, Millbank Tower. The event was organised by Cisco & The Daily Telegraph regarding the Olympics, about the level of preparation businesses need to undertake during those times. The games will no doubt affect not just people getting into work but also business operations, stock levels, and the level of employee engagement as no doubt there will be more exciting things to do and see during that time!

The location played a big part on why people attended but also because they were giving away 100 free video cameras. Lots of incentives but most important lots of useful connections.

So before we start thinking about and plan for the Olympics, I'll leave you to enjoy the snap shots I took from the 28th floor.

LIMITLESS

On the 19th of September 2011 the unthinkable was achieved as the light barrier was broken for the first time. I accept that at the time of writing the results are being checked and rechecked, but as it stands the world-wide scientific community has been in shock with these extraordinary claims.

What seemed impossible....no longer is. If you know your history you would know that there was a time when many people thought the Earth was flat or that we were in a geocentric universe.

Based on this new evidence, I think that some self-reflection is in order. Think about it, what can you achieve that you thought was completely beyond you?
About a year ago, I left the comforts of working in the family business to pursue a career with Dale Carnegie as a performance consultant. This year I am about to start the long and arduous process of training to become a coach / trainer. I have been informed that it is very challenging to balance both the role of a consultant and a trainer successfully. When you spend more time on one the other area the other suffers and so forth.

This has just made me even more determined to succeed. Luckily for me all the tools are here for me to succeed, the people, the training, my mentor. I know if I don’t make it, it will be simply because I am not trying hard enough.

To ensure that I stay focussed throughout the process I have goals. I have mapped out the next five years for myself with key milestones to be achieved along the way.
You must hear that all time....”it is important to have goals”......”it is important to write them down”...and so on. You hear it all the time because it’s true.

We help improve the performance of companies by improving the performance of their people. I use this sentence with pride on a regular basis but appreciate that it can be misleading. Most people automatically assume that we only work with the largest companies and conglomerates. Even though we are proud that many of the big players in any industry are amongst our clientele, in the last year here in London almost 70% of our business was with either individuals or small to medium businesses.
So if you fall into one of the latter categories please note that we offer a complete range of courses, from your webinars, one / two day seminars and longer time spaced programmes.

If you are interested to find out more please visit our website (www.london.dalecarnegie.co.uk) and talk to one of our many consultants who would be happy to arrange a complimentary consultation to help you gain some clarity as to where you should be focussing your time and energy to get the results you are looking for.




I would like to leave you with a couple of quotes the first by Albert Einstein and the second by Richard Bach.

“Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.”

“There is such a thing as perfection...and our purpose for living is to find that perfection and show it forth....Each of us is in truth an unlimited idea of freedom. Everything that limits us we have to put aside.”

Amar Garcha

Shifting performance through improved attitude !

We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is to rely on the one source of strength we have and that is our ATTITUDE.

I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to people and 90 percent how we react to it. It is all a matter of attitude. A positive attitude doesn’t just happen. It’s something you have to work at all the time. At Dale Carnegie we get our graduates to understand that behaviour change does not happen just because they have graduated from a 3 day intensive personal development programme. Behaviour change is a long term process that requires the individual to want to change fundamentally.

With a positive, optimistic attitude, each of us can overcome adversities and prove negative attitudes and predictions to be wrong. A positive hardy attitude is of primary importance in dealing with life challenges. Persons with positive attitudes have a clear focus, well-defined objectives and enthusiasm for life. This has nothing to do with how bright they are it is all attitude.

Attitude is our reaction to life’s every day experiences. Attitudes are personal feelings that we create and control. We, therefore, need to use our energies to bring about positive attitudes, thus empowering ourselves with good feelings that improve all aspects of our lives physically, socially and intellectually. Our attitude is a big determining factor of our own destiny as individuals and employees. A website that I have found of interest that maps out your personal rhythms/attitudes http://www.facade.com/biorhythm might give you some food for thought around this topic.

All of us, at one time or another, express the three different types of attitudes: positive, negative and neutral. “Those with a neutral attitude are sometimes the most challenging to deal with. We often try to avoid contact with those carrying a negative attitude, “the critics of the game of life.” And we are drawn to those with a positive attitude, “the players of the game of life.”

So how do you adjust your attitude toward the positive and maintain that attitude?“Listen to yourself talk and listen to the voice within. “You have to pursue happiness. It won’t come knocking. You have to find the good things in each day, and you have to stop shooting yourself, stop berating yourself for something that didn’t work quite right.”

To maintain that sunny disposition, try starting each day with a pep talk to yourself; make it a habit to enjoy the good moments; express, rather than suppress, your feelings; and surround yourself with a positive environment, by decorating your home or office with things that give you pleasure.

So if you are looking to shift your own attitude or that of your team, then get in touch with one of our consultants today .

Mark de Stadler
Performance Consultant
Dale Carnegie London

How are we perceived?

How can understanding how we're perceived help our careers?

It's probably fair to say that most of us would like to think we're good at our jobs and that we'd also like to think the people around us see what it is that we do well.

An assignment that I've been working on for a client this week has got me thinking about people's perceptions and how they impact our careers. We are half way through a project to complete a 360 degree assessment for a group of senior managers working in a technical business environment and this week I had to write an e-mail to them to accompany their completed reports. For those who haven't come across a 360 evaluation before it's an online questionnaire that asks those who work around us to assess our strengths and weaknesses and we then compare those scores against our own perception and take actions to improve our performance.

The question perhaps you're asking yourself is how would others rate me? The challenging thing when one asks this question is we have to be prepared to deal with what we find out. Therefore when we give people the reports it's important that we help them to interpret what they read. What I wrote to this group is the following:

"We find that typically when reading a report like this people tend to get a few pleasant surprises where others rate us higher than we rate ourselves and at the same time we'll identify a few areas where the people around you don't rate us as highly as we'd perhaps like to see.

The typical reaction here is to take a slightly defensive posture and generally we'll seek to rationalize and tell ourselves that the people that rated us don't fully understand what we think and all the things we have to do. That said what makes a 360 survey particularly useful as a development tool is that whether the perception expressed is right or wrong it gives us an understanding of actually how we are perceived and the focus of the coaching conversation next week will be to identify ways we can develop ourselves, address those perceptions and lead our teams in the most effective way."

As you've probably worked out the real benefit to each of us of asking other's perceptions is not in the knowing but in what actions it allows us to take. Any time I work on a project like this I'm reminded that in business and in all aspects of our life we have a responsibility over how people receive the messages that we send out not just a responsibility for the message we send.

If you'd like to know more about how people perceive you and therefore what actions you can take to develop your career please make contact with us to discuss our range of 360 survey evaluations.

David Anderson
Managing Director
Dale Carnegie London

Football Loyalty

Scott Parker had been a hero for a legion of West Ham UTD fans for 4 years, scoring the late equaliser in the Carling Cup fourth-round win over Stoke City last October, to making his 100th appearance in the 2-2 draw against West Bromwich Albion, and this year winning FWA Footballer of the year.

However like most football players, he has followed his career, and left us fans broken hearted by transferring over to our rival London team….Tottenham, but we are thankful for all the hard work he has put in.

However, the transfer window does mean that fresh blood will be running through the team. Sometimes a player - be it sport related, or work, may be worshipped by senior members of the team, and their word or play is gospel. Movement of these so-called heroes allows room for other, less vocal team members to make more of an impression and show what they are capable of.

Young footballers need the right coaching, and to be playing on regular basis, to practice and show their new and developed skills, so they can become as successful as Scott Parker. This is the same situation within the working environment too. Employees need high quality coaches in order to be able to progress, and develop their skills. They need leaders that they can relate to, and will allow them to build their self confidence so they can become high vocal team members and make more of an impression.

The key to becoming a successful, professional person is having the following skills at a high quality level:

• Communication
• Confidence
• People Skills
• Leadership
• Attitude

These are the 5 key drivers of success and at Dale Carnegie we can develop these skills, with our high quality coaches, who will allow you to practise the skills you have learnt. Please visit www.london.dalecarnegie.co.uk, or call 0208 379 4323 for more information on the range of courses we have to offer


Stephanie Fletcher
Marketing Assistant & Administrator

Random Act of Kindness

In a world where turmoil is prevalent it is refreshing to stumble upon random acts of kindness. It is also reassuring that no matter what goes on here in the UK or in the world, us humans still dish out those random acts that make us smile and feel good.

I have come across three acts in less than a week. The first one happened when I was commuting home on the tube and an elderly couple were lost and desperately trying to get to Goodge Street but they just couldn't work out how to get there. They looked distressed especially as the lady had an injured arm and fellow passengers took them under their wing and helped them to get where they needed to go. In a city where people say we don't talk to each other it was lovely to see them being helped from the other end of the carriage. Everyone in the carriage was involved one way or another, even if just to give the couple a reassuring and welcoming smile.

The second instance happened to me. I went into my local Pret a Manger to get a muffin for my breakfast and the staff insisted on giving me a free cup of tea. I thanked them very much for being so kind (I actually said just that). I later found out that this happened to another lady and my work colleague. It is reassuring to know that Pret a Manger like to make people's day by giving them a freebie, and in return they gain custom. It's a win win situation.

The last act of kindness was an article I read in The Big Issue. I still had last weeks in my bag and decided to have a read and imagine my delight when I came across an article where a Big Issue vendor found a stray cat with an injured leg and decided to take him to an animal shelter for help. They bandaged him up and James, the Big Issue seller nursed him back to health. When the cat was better the vendor opened the door to his shelter to let the cat go on it's merry way but the cat refused. The cat (now known as Bob) decided that he liked this particular person and wasn't going anywhere. And so now you will find Bob, The Big Issue Cat with James, selling the Big Issue in Covent Garden and Angel. What a wonderful story of kindness. If you click on the J-Peg you can read all about it. I believe it is now being made into a book and Bob has his own Facebook fan page too! I also hear from a certain Big Issue seller in the know, that Bob the cat has changed the vendor's life, from being somewhat wayward to a man with responsibilities.

It really is great to hear and see random acts of kindness and when it happens to you it really makes you feel good.

At Dale Carnegie our founder recognised that Human Relation skills are paramount in building relationships with everyone, from friends and family, co-workers and clients. For instance such simple, basic but powerful things such as remembering someones name or smiling. It all adds up. If you would like to find out more, why not check out our website for our courses or maybe join our Facebook fan page.

And I will leave you with this thought.......can you imagine what the world would be like if we all did one random act of kindness each day.............?

Helen Mills
Financial Controller

Great Teams - Strength in Depth

It is only when the occasion arises that we really get to appreciate what strength we have in the depth of our teams.

Three examples in the space of 24 hours demonstrate the importance of being part of a team with diverse strengths and abilities.

At a Board meeting yesterday the Directors were faced with some challenges that they were concerned about how solutions would be provided. Over the years the Directors have invested significantly in the capability and personal attributes of the team. This investment paid off when one of the non-Directors in attendance stepped up and volunteered to achieve the result. We all thought this was beyond their capability and after some reassuring answers to our questions it was clear they would be successful.

Closer to home, my train was late this morning meaning that a client meeting needed to be facilitated by a colleague. Again capability was unknown, but the outcome was a huge success for everyone. Indeed, functionally I did not need to be at the meeting.

Finally that day, another colleague came to the fore when a possible client sprung a conference call on us at the last minute which the nominated team members could not attend.

Some lessons worth remembering:
1. Recruit, hire and train your team to be talented, capable and confident
2. Create opportunities for others to flourish. We do not have to do it all: all of the time.
3. Freely grant your trust to others and it will be willingly accepted.

Well done Corina and Mark, you make me proud to be part of your team.

David Pickering
Business Consultant and Trainer

Behind the Riots

“They don’t care about us”, “Showing the rich we do what we want”

At this day and age, we Londoners have lived a tough and not expected experience at all. We have seen buildings in fire, burglaries and riots. Now, we are watching TV programmes where experts are talking about the reasons behind these behaviours.



A person who says “Showing the rich we do what we want” is one who hates our society. A person who says “They don’t care about us” is one who feels rejected and discriminated.

Having in mind the Dale Carnegie’s principle, they feel that they are not important for our society. So what can we expect from anyone who feels that they don’t belong to this society?

On the other hand, the US government has released over $1 Trillion in bailouts from 2008. We could easily eradicate the poverty and invest in the education of next generation with all of this money.

Is our system taking care of ourselves? What can we expect from the next generations if our society doesn’t show to them that we care of them?

Dale Carnegie’s principle no 4: “Become genuinely interested in other people”

Jose Bort
Performance Consultant

What I sell vs. What people buy

Just got an email from someone inviting me to a workshop about Health & Wellbeing.

Since I'm trying to eat more healthy I was interested and opened the invitation to check the details. It had all this wonderful things about the speaker and her credentials on the topic, and it was asking lots of good questions around some of the health problems people face.

Got to the end of the flyer and I was wondering what will I get by attending? Why should I invest my time & money to go to this event when the internet is full of free information?

And then I remembered (when you are trying to sell an idea) how important it is to talk about the Application/ Outcome not just the Features & Benefits (FAB's). Most companies sell products/ services that have many good FAB's but how many of them talk about the outcomes their customers will expect to get?

Here are a couple of examples:

The Dale Carnegie Course
Feature: Participants learn & practice 30 Human Relations principles
Benefit: They'll be better equipped when dealing with disengaged team members
Outcome: Able to hold difficult conversations without creating conflict

The Leadership Training for Managers programme
Feature: Participants practice techniques on managing performance
Benefit: Clear and consistent standards across the team
Outcome: Appraisals become more than 'tick the box' exercises and outline things to focus on to deliver results

Would you like to know an effective way to articulate the outcomes for your clients?
Please contact us on 0207 379 4323 for a complimentary 45 minutes consultation.

149 Days Until Christmas

It seems like only yesterday I was hunting around the shops on Christmas Eve buying the remaining few Christmas presents, vowing that next year I won’t leave it to last minute like I do every year. Time just goes so quickly, new years, then Easter, followed by that summer holiday, Halloween, and then next thing you know it is the 1st December, and you have only just decided to think about that first Christmas present.

It’s the end of July, the temperature is in the 70s, and I am writing about Christmas, and why am I reminding you about it, I hear you say? Each year it gets earlier and earlier, and soon we will be reminded of Christmas in June, before we have even thought about this year’s holiday! Selfridges and Harrods launched their ‘seasonal’ displays yesterday, 149 days before Christmas and 11 days earlier than last year, with this year’s trend being white. Personally, I am a traditional person, and believe that Christmas trees should not be sold in any other colour than green, with it covered in decorations and the whole house covered too from roof to floor.

Christmas can be a stressful time for most people, and just thinking about it now, has got me thinking what I will be buying this year. In order to decrease the amount of stress I get each year from Christmas I will keep the stress out of my life, by planning a head. I will make a start earlier than planned and will eliminate the biggest worry of them all...what if they don’t like it. If they do not like it then I can always take it back, and get them something they really like instead.

It’s only July, and I vow this year to make a start on my Christmas presents early. If you do end up shopping on Christmas Eve then do not worry, and follow the principle How to face trouble: Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen?” Prepare for the worst. Try to improve on the worst, and you will enjoy the experience of Christmas a lot more.

Attend our free Dale Carnegie Course Preview on 3rd August 2011 or 6th September 2011to find out how you can Stop Worrying And Start Living.

Stephanie Fletcher

Marketing Assistant & Administrator

http://www.london.dalecarnegie.co.uk/

Communication

The other day I was updating our database with a new client and I arrived at the field asking for the company’s fax number. And this made me think....how often these days do we send faxes? I racked my brains but could honestly not remember the last time I sent one. These days documents are scanned and emailed rather than faxed.

And this in turn made me think about how communication has changed over the years.....we have used messengers, pigeons, letters, telephone, telex, fax, emails, instant messenger and now skype and webinars. All various ways to interact with colleagues, friends and family.

At Dale Carnegie we have embraced the changes in communication and one of our latest ways of learning through webinars has been a huge success. But what about good old fashioned face to face communication.

How often do we email someone when we could easily pick up the phone, or even walk into the next department/office and speak to them? How often do we email our clients when it may be better to call them? Email is a very easy way of communicating and is extremely effective too, especially when dealing with clients and colleagues in different countries.

But you really cannot beat face to face communications. An example of this is when you deal with someone on the phone for a period of time and then you actually meet them – this in fact happened to me this week. Nine times out of ten once you have met that person your relationship blossoms as that interaction makes further communication so much easier.

So next time you decide to email, how about picking up the phone instead....or even better, pick up the phone and arrange a meeting.....you never know what could come of it.

And to end, here are a few tips from our founder, Dale Carnegie, on face to face communications:

~ Smile
~ Become genuinely interested in the person you are talking to
~ Remember that person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most sound in any language
~ Give honest and sincere appreciation
~ Show respect in the other person’s opinion. Never say “you’re wrong.”

For further tips why not come to our free preview session of our flagship programme, The Dale Carnegie Course.

The most useful person in the world today is the man or woman who knows how to get along with other people. Human relations is the most important science in living ~ Stanley C Allyn

Helen Mills
Financial Controller
http://www.london.dalecarnegie.com/

Who wants to be a millionaire?

It’s Tuesday 12th July 2011, 7.45pm. I just realised that I forgot to get my Euro millions lottery ticket. Arghh!!!

I have been putting two lines each on a Tuesday and a Friday for a number of months. I used to only have one, a selection of numbers that have some significance to me. However, when I found out that a majority of the jackpot winners did so through the lucky dip I was forced to add a line. I couldn’t simply drop my numbers because I would be distraught if they ever came in.

Then on Wednesday morning, as I pushed and shoved my way through Paddington station to grab a copy of the Metro I saw that someone had done it, winning an astronomical £161 million, propelling him / her into the top 500 of the UK rich list.

Just like most of you that do spend money in the hope of one day hitting the jackpot, I believe my investment of just over £400 a year is money well spent. Who knows, the next time it could be me.

However, that said this desire to become an instant millionaire does not outweigh my desire to be successful in my own right. I realise that for most of us success is not thrust upon us but it is something we earn. In fact most people would argue that winning the lottery will make you richer but not necessarily more successful.

I want to be able to work hard and be the best I can be. I want to be respected by my colleagues for the work I do and the results I achieve. Equally, I want my clients to see me as a trusted advisor. Ultimately, success for me is helping other people to become more successful.

If like me, you really want to be successful, the first step you must take is to define what success actually means to you. Please take a minute to define success for yourself and jot down your thoughts on a piece of paper and keep it somewhere safe. Make sure you look at it from time to time and ask yourself what you have done to achieve the items on your success list.

If you are genuinely interested in developing your own skill set or that of others within your organisation then please take the time to come along to any of our free course previews and seminars and find out how Dale Carnegie supports individuals, teams and organisation to reach their goals, faster and with less anxiety.

I would like to leave you with a couple of quotes. The first is from an American educator by the name of Marva Collins and the second is from our founder Dale Carnegie.

“Excellence is not an act but a habit. The things you do the most are the things you will do best.”

“Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.”

Amar Garcha
Sales Consultant

www.london.dalecarnegie.co.uk