Leaders don't Bully

‘The Secret to being a great leader isn’t to bully or harrass your underlings – it’s to be a sensitive listener.’ (David Derbyshire – Daily Mail – 15th September 2010)

The above quote is from an article published in the Daily Mail this week which talks about two pyschologists research into 85 self-help books and biographies. Their findings show that most leaders secrets of success are ‘touchy feely’* and that the leaders themselves are ‘positive and inspirational.’* Doctor Peters one of the Psychologists who carried out the study says that their findings from the research go against the belief that ‘the best leaders were driven individuals with domineering personalities’* She said ‘Actually, it’s someone who is always looking to their followers and who is concerned about their relationship with them.’

Dale Carnegie is one such leader who’s principles and ideas agree with this research and have been used for nearly a hundred years. When it comes to listening he has unearthed that there are 5 levels – Ignore, pretend, selectively, attentively, empathetically. Here are some of Dale Carnegie’s principles for being a leader –

- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticising others.
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
-Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

So the key to being a good leader is not to dominate but to build and sustain good relationships with your team. Leaders who dictate will eventually lose their position as leader.

If you would like to learn more about becoming a successful leader then why not join us at a preview of our Leadership Training for Managers Programme on 23rd September. Click here for more details.

To read the full article in the Daily Mail - Click here

* David Derbyshire – Daily Mail – 15th September 2010

Sophie Whittall
Marketing & Admin Co-ordinator

www.London.dalecarnegie.com

Essential Looks

There I was, thirty minutes before the show and the choreographer said: 'Models, lets rehearse once or twice before the show!' I thought to myself 'Rehearse what? I wasn't told anything about this!'

I do modelling in my spare time and this event took place at a Hair Showcase in Manchester yesterday. Basically myself and a few other models were completely unaware of this choreography. The organisers just assumed we could pick up the steps just like that, and also the delay in getting there due to the M6 closure didn't help.

I was feeling quite nervous and in a way frustrated that I wasn't told about this sooner so I could have practiced. Then I thought of the Dale Carnegie principles:

• What's the worst that can happen? -I can forget the steps and the audience will know it.
  
• Prepare to accept the worst - This happens to a lot of models and they still got offered work.
  
• Try to improve on the worst -Because there wasn't any more time to practice I got a piece of paper, sketched the choreography and ran though it in my head a few times until I was confident I knew what I was doing.

This situation is often found in business, the boss changes the strategy and you have to drive the business in the opposite direction, the client suddenly demands additional details to be added to the project at the last minute or a colleague asks you to do a presentation for them in the afternoon.

So when you find yourself in a challenging situation...Do the best you can!

Or you can come along to the Dale Carnegie Course and learn to think on your feet, handle and adapt to rapid change, control your attitude and be confident in any situation! Click here for more details

Corina Balaneanu
Sales Consultant

www.London.dalecarnegie.com

Why do we have two masks?

At the end of 2004 I met the person who changed my entire life and was my Coach for 9 months, his name is Juan Luis and he was the Worldwide HR Director in a multinational company in the automobile industry. He managed more than 39.000 employees around the world, travelling on more than 152 flights a year in the company private Jet, Juan Luis was living in hotels in triplex rooms and he had his own chauffeur.

Juan Luis is a physically normal person, but the expressions on his face and the feelings that are thrown along his body every second make the difference. When he greets you, greetings are done with his whole body and he is physically with you. He is not just shaking hands, he is telling you “I am here with you because I really appreciate you and I want to stay with you”.

In the book “Blink” it explains that our subconcious mind can evaluate situations and characters much faster than our rational mind. I really believe that when I met Juan Luis I knew he was to have a crucial influence on my professional life from the first moment I met him.

And my question is, Why? Why has a so “singular” a person had all the success in life that he wished to have without giving across the image of a weirdo?

Before answering this question, have you met those people who you cannot find out what they are like after 24 hours of living with them? I refer to those people who are changing all the time, not clearly-defined people because they behave in completely different ways depending on the situation they are in, such as personal, professional, social, lifetime,... Of course, it is important to know how to adapt yourself to each situation, but it is different when we talk about changing your individuality; your personality.

Therefore, Juan Luis has success, because he knew how to sell his individuality. Why do we try to change and try to look like others, when being ourselves 100%, is the best way forward. Why did your company hire you and not another person? Why did your partner choose you? Because we offered something different, as Dale Carnegie said in principle number 9: “Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely” with all your body.

For this reason I tell you, Be yourself! Feel proud of who you are! Give away all your energy and you will definitely find the success you wish for.

Because there is just one way to prompt others to action and make a difference; by being a “human being” with your good and bad traits, by being a person who has something different to offer; people pay extra money for the different ones.

Jose Bort
Sales Consultant

www.London.dalecarnegie.com

Out of the Blue

You know what it's like. One of those days when you wonder what it's all about. One of those when you thought 'I know a better place to be right now'. And then - wham!! Out of the blue comes something so unexpected, against the run of play that you ponder what divinity inspired intervention chose you, at that very moment, to bless.

Such was the moment ten days ago. As happens these days its likely to be on the golf course. Standing on the 8th hole of the day, a down hill par 3 of some 217 yards distance. In the previous seven holes I had lost three balls and was playing like an absolute beginner - no, worse than that - as if I had never made the acquaintance of a golf club and could not imagine what a golf ball was.

And then it happened - the ball flew off the 5 iron with no discernable impact, was right on line with the flag, hit the front edge of the green and then rolled purposefully to the centre of the cup. A hole in one.

So what happened, a moment of balance, of talent, bordering on genious, conjured something out of nothing. A moment when all the dreams, wishes, hopes, aspirations come together in one fleeting moment of brilliance.

I was reminded in that moment to say thank you, not only to those applauding and offering their congratulations but also to that divinity at work and in such an unsuspecting moment.

Such is the joy and peace that has come so often over the many years as a Dale Carnegie coach. It comes in that moment when someone has a breakthrough. The moment they get it and realise that because of the commitment they made to change their life - it has changed, irrevocably.

Yes, they struggle, question what they are doing here, thinking they'd rather have been somewhere else, practising stuff as beginners ... and then their perseverance pays off. They have practiced and become skilled, still prone to mistakes, but then have moments of brilliance.

Until one is committed, plays the game and dares to try, such moments are absent. It is our responsibility to try to give ourselves the chance of an out of the blue experience.

So take that action you have been putting off - it may not work perfectly every time, experience the ecstasy when it does.

David Pickering
Trainer and Sales Consultant

www.London.dalecarnegie.com

Goals?

How often are you asked what your goals are and you cant give a clear, concise answer?

This poses a very interesting point, as in this day and age, no one in the world is as important to us as ourselves, yet a large proportion of us are unclear as to the direction we are headed!
A Japanese Proverb states “Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.”

Ok, so I need to set some goals, whats the best way to do it?

When setting a goal, no matter what for, check it meets the SMART criteria:

S - Specific – the more details the better!

M - Measurable – Put a measurement in place, without this how will you know when you have reached your goal or if you are on track.

A - Achievable – Whilst making them challenging, we must make sure our goals are achievable!

R - Results driven – this goes without saying, all goals should be results driven!

T - Timeline – having a deadline helps to measure expectations as well as celebrate milestones along the way.

As our next wave of Leadership and Communications courses begin next week and our participants outline their goals for their course, I ask you too, what are your goals for the remainder of the year?

Angus Firth

Performance Consultant
Dale Carnegie Training London
www.London.dalecarnegie.com

The New Social Movement Of Our Times

The word Philanthropy in recent times has been getting some much needed front page headline exposure, through former Dale Carnegie graduate Warren E Buffet and billionaire friend Bill Gates. They have been able to get forty of the richest people in the US, including themselves to pledge at least half their fortunes to charities of their choice as part of a philanthropic campaign called 'The Giving Pledge Campaign' ( www.givingpledge.org ). The pair are also hoping to expand the concept to some of the wealthiest people around the world to follow the example of those affiliated to The Giving Pledge Campaign.

If we start to look at the numbers we find that the combined fortunes of Gates and Buffet alone comes to an estimated $100 billion fortune, therefore charities are likely to see some unprecedented amounts of money being distributed to them. With that said it is interesting to note the results of one of the largest studies of wealth distribution completed in 2006 that 1% of adults in the world own 40% of the planets wealth. Therefore the success of this campaign could have a real lasting impact on bridging the divide between the ultra rich and poor around the world.

But with that in mind, the reason behind me writing today about the subject of philanthropy stems from researching the original meaning of the word which dates back to Ancient Greek times, 2500 years ago. Philanthropy itself is a combination of two words: philos, meaning 'loving' in the sense of benefitting and caring for and nourishing and anthropos meaning 'human being' in the sense of 'humankind', 'humanity' or 'human-ness'.

This original meaning of the word really resonates with one of the Dale Carnegie principles in effective communication and human relations: Become genuinely interested in other people.

Stop thinking about yourself and what you need, take a minute to think about the people closest to you, be it your family, friends, your work colleagues or that man on the street that you walk past everyday; see how you can help them. By doing this you will be surprised what a positive impact you can have in that person's life. So lets create our own campaign of caring today and look to help others.

Mark de Stadler
Sales Consultant

www.London.dalecarnegie.com

What's Your Name?

You might think what's in a name? It doesn't determine who you are or how you act, but for as long as people can remember, a person's name has been important to them. A recent article on the BBC website - 1066 and all those baby names - talked about how we still use names from the time when the Normans invaded; after the invasion many babies were named after William the Conqueror as the name was assosciated with success and this name is still popular today.

When someone hears their name spoken it makes them feel special and important, but many of us don't take the time to remember people's names or even to use people's proper names. Often we bump into people we have met before and then can't remember their name, not only is this embarrassing for us but it also makes the other person feel insignificant and unimportant. By not remembering somone's names we immediately alienate ourselves from that person.

Dale Carnegie's third principle from the book 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' says -

Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

It's simple, people that remember people's names and use them are well liked and achieve more. A manager who has a team of over thirty and remembers the name of every member of his team will have earned the respect and attention of that team.

Here are some simple techniques that can help you to remember people's names -

1. 
   
   When you are introduced to someone, listen when they say their name and ask them to repeat it if you don't catch it the first time.


2. 
   
   When you first hear the name, repeat it several times in your head.


3. 
   
   Associate the name in your mind with the features, expression and appearance of that person.
   

When it comes to dealing with people, just by remembering and using their names you will be well on the way to building good relationships.

For more useful tips like this attend a complimentary preview of the Dale Carnegie Course on 17th August. Click here for more information

Sophie Whittall
Admin & Marketing Co-ordinator
www.London.Dalecarnegie.com