The Beneficial Overspill of Mastering Stress

The beneficial overspill of mastering stress.

Those of you who are blessed enough to have a dream commute each day ought to be hailed genius. Your intuitive decision making on location and mode of transport is to be celebrated.

I still haven’t managed to master my commute. Tube journeys are squashed and uncomfortable, and then I’m to dash from platform to platform if the next driver has decided to take a jolly jaunt on route. My contingency, an hour long bus ride, whilst providing a seat faces multiple diversions and delays. This often means the journey takes 90 minutes and without warning the driver will terminate the journey in order to get back to the depot on time leaving passengers to fend for themselves off the beaten track. Not a great start to the day.

Knowing the likelihood of the ‘rug being pulled from under’ my smooth journey at any point has often meant me being fraught with underlying stress, and when things do go wrong I have reacted in a less than favourable manner, to say the least. This stressed and disgruntled state of mind has stayed with me through to midday on occasion, so I can only guess the words and phrases used by my colleagues to describe my. Not a great impression to create.

I recently completed the Dale Carnegie Skills for Success programme, and on the final session I spoke of the benefits I have gained and they were numerous. However yesterdays commute really demonstrated just how far reaching the benefits of managing my stress and worry are.

At just beyond the half-way point of my journey to work the driver politely announced he would be terminating the journey. “You can just follow this road until you get close to Marble Arch and then ask somebody from there if you don’t know your way around” was his solution for the tourist groups who had deliberately set out early to explore this wonderful city of ours. For the rest of us? “You know this can happen.” Helpful!

Usually at this announcement my knee-jerk reaction would be to openly express my disappointment, frustration and anger vigorously however on this occasion I simply listened, accepted and began my long walk toward the office. Each attempt to catch another bus failed however I kept moving in the direction of Covent Garden and kept my thoughts positive and productive. Not only was I calm when I arrived at work I had also come up with a couple of new ideas I couldn’t wait to test out so I was in fact fairly fired up and raring to go. What a difference! My next goal is to apply this more often when faced with challenges that are beyond my control but can often be costly in terms of my wellbeing.

I look forward to letting you know how it goes. Enjoy your day.

Angelina Foden

Living for Today

A great weekend spent visiting friends in Jersey reminded me of how important it is to live in the present...... That might sound a strange thing to say as surely it's impossible to do anything but live in the present. That said it's amazing how often people focus all their energy on living in the past or only living for the future. Those of us with a disposition to living in the past will tell stories of what we did and 'how great it was back then' where as those of us with a disposition towards the future will say things like when I achieve 'X Y Z' I'll be happy.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't enjoy a little reminiscing about good times in the past or think about things we want to work for in the future! What I'm talking about is seeking to engage fully with what we do and the people we meet each day in order to get a greater sense of fulfilment and satisfaction. It took a walk along a cold and windy beach with my friends their kids and 8 month old black Labrador to remind me of something that I'd forgotten.

I learnt the importance of living in the present from a Dale Carnegie Master trainer back in 2003 he was explaining the importance of being 100% present as he described it when interacting with the people around us and to get the group to understand he wrote up on a flip chart the days of the week and asked us to think of each day of the week as representing 12 years of our lives (This assumes we live on average to 84). He asked the group to identify which day of the week they were physically living on; as I write this now it's pretty late on Wednesday night for me. The question he asked was did we focus our energy on where we physically were or was our mind filled with thoughts of past or present...... Where are you? & Where do you focus your Energy?

Whether we're spending time with friends and family, at work in a meeting, on the phone to a client, working on a project, playing sport or just relaxing. The way to get the best of that moment is to commit yourself 100% to where you are now, who you're with and what you're doing.

I consider myself lucky that I love what I do for a living and have a great team around me and friends and family I want to spend time with yet I know I have a tendency to live in the future and not in the NOW! A black Labrador reminded me of the importance of living for Today....... I hope this has encouraged you to do the same.

What's happening right now is LIFE ...... Make Sure You Give It Everything Today!

David Anderson
Managing Director
Dale Carnegie London