The language of love

Love is at the centre of a successful organisation. Why did I not see this before? Why do we avoid combining the language of love and business in the same sentence? We use euphemisms like, “client service”, or “personnel policies and procedures,” when what we really mean is putting love at the centre of what we do. It is our key driver, our dominant motive, our greatest need and yet we do not name it.

What is management? Well one definition is – getting tasks done through people. Early in our management careers we learn that we can manage other resources, like buildings, cash and raw materials. Try to do that with people and our endeavours are bound to fail - eventually. Managing people is like trying to herd cats.

Why did we ever think we could tell people to obey us? We were rather seduced by the model of command and control inherited from the theatre of war. The trouble was that we brought other war-like attitudes and language with it: destroy the competition, discipline the work force; make a killing on the stock market and so on.

Now – there is another way - if we have love at the centre of an organisation we create products and services with intrinsic value and integrity; we build enduring and affirming relationships with people in our sphere of influence; and we use the planet’s resources responsibly and with sustainability at the forefront of our business strategy: Profit, People, Planet!

In the current climate there is a temptation, in the most enlightened companies, to revert to bullying behaviour. But we all know, deep down, that the bully is the most scared child in the playground. The language of the bully is, do this or else - or else what? I lose my job, I do not get a pay rise, you stop being nice to me? Money is not a motivator, and most people are not turned on by threats. They may go through the motions but they will never give you what you really want,

Enthusiastic cooperation from our people is a gift not a right: a true leader creates an environment of love where that gift can be freely given and gracefully received.

The language of love is sometimes denigrated as a weak thing – slightly embarrassing and a bit over the top. This is foolish. Someone who loves is prepared to give up his life for a cause or a friend; is able to create an environment where people feel valued and free; and whose behaviour consistently reflects values of integrity, honesty and fidelity. There is nothing weak or indeed easy about that.

Exchange the word leader for lover. Leadership is love; love is leadership. Phew – I feel better now!!

Jane Kustner
Dale Carnegie Instructor

http://www.london.dalecarnegie.com/